How come I can't have an orgasm no matter what I do?

**somebunny** · 05-05-2011 01:04 PM

I don't think my body is capable of orgasming. When my boyfriend and I have sex, forget it. I can't orgasm via vaginal penetration.

But the problem is I can't even give MYSELF one. I have a Hitachi magic wand and every time I use it to stimulate my clit, I get really really wet and I always think I'm going to have one, but then the sensation down there gets like super intense and then just.. stops. I can never get over the edge. Am I just doomed to never be able to climax?

**Jimbeau** · 05-05-2011 01:41 PM

The Hitachi wand is kind of the .44 magnum of sex toys. Perhaps you should try something a little less intense like a pocket rocket and don't put it directly on the clitoris. Also, do other things like stimulate your nipples before you hit for the fences. Maybe what you need is a little less intensity and a little more slow buildup.

**jns** · 05-05-2011 10:16 PM

Originally Posted by somebunny

I don't think my body is capable of orgasming. When my boyfriend and I have sex, forget it. I can't orgasm via vaginal penetration.

But the problem is I can't even give MYSELF one. I have a Hitachi magic wand and every time I use it to stimulate my clit, I get really really wet and I always think I'm going to have one, but then the sensation down there gets like super intense and then just.. stops. I can never get over the edge. Am I just doomed to never be able to climax?

Try building up a short time, then backing off on intense stimulation. Repeat several times. You should build more and more sexual tension. Finally, go for it. Make sure you relax while doing this.

**Little_Man_in_the_Boat** · 05-06-2011 08:16 AM

Because your making love to a piece of plastic that vibrates, you've been cheated out of your hard earnt money.

Too many people have been deluded by pornography, you have to understand that that is commerce it has nothing to do with real imtimacy, nothing to do with making love, in fact its probably counter productive.

You need to make love to a man with a bare penis and real emotion and love and caring and all the things that make us human beings.

**Jimbeau** · 05-06-2011 09:39 AM

Originally Posted by Little_Man_in_the_Boat

Because your making love to a piece of plastic that vibrates, you've been cheated out of your hard earnt money.

Too many people have been deluded by pornography, you have to understand that that is commerce it has nothing to do with real imtimacy, nothing to do with making love, in fact its probably counter productive.

You need to make love to a man with a bare penis and real emotion and love and caring and all the things that make us human beings.

So what you're saying is a woman's pleasure is dependent on a man. I reject that misogynistic kind of thinking and most younger women (and maybe older ones too) likely do also.

**FortunsFoole** · 05-06-2011 10:40 AM

Sometimes there can be sort of "too much of a good thing" if you know what I'm saying. Sometimes too intense of sensation can cause things to stall out.. or become numb. It's good that you are finding a way to stimulate yourself and get close, that's great progress in itself... it just may take some more focused alone time with yourself. Maybe not making a real goal out of having an orgasm. Just pay attention to making yourself feel good. Make it about touching yourself everywhere.. paying attention to what feels good and how your body responds... eventually you may be able to build up to it. Take the pressure off yourself to make yourself to orgasm and enjoy whatever pleasure you can get out of sensations first. Try and get your mind amped up to it... maybe a visual aid, erotic story.. or just a fantasy you really like and can replay in your head. Maybe even to help you relax you could do this while you're taking a hot bath.

**Little_Man_in_the_Boat** · 05-07-2011 10:03 AM

Originally Posted by Jimbeau

So what you're saying is a woman's pleasure is dependent on a man. I reject that misogynistic kind of thinking and most younger women (and maybe older ones too) likely do also.

Yes, I think I am.

So what are YOU saying you don't want real love, real caring and a real penis instead of a plastic artificial penis that is highly likely toxic and destroys your nerve endings ?

Don't fight me because I love women and want women to experience the ultimate in sexual pleasure, anything thing less is just not good enough.

To attack me is to take a backward step in womens rights and womens right to orgasm surely you can't be against that ?

If your attacking me because deep down you've been deeply traumatised and some how feel hurt by what I have said I am truelly sorry.

On the other hand if you represent the sex industry that is potentially protecting your bottom line then that just too bad.

I look around me and see a strange world based on commerce, the almighty dollar and the affects of this on human beings, what I see is not healthy or normal.

What has become of love and respect for one another ?

Is anybody romantic today ?

Trying to get pleasure from plastic is very sad.

What is happening to human beings, have we lost our way ?

Nature is laughing at us.

**ItsASecret** · 05-07-2011 10:20 AM

Trying to get pleasure from plastic is very sad.

Same could be said for porn. Men still jump to pictures of surgically edited bombshell they will never experience, never feel, portrayed in unrealistic sexual situations that will not happen but they like the fantasy so much that they do not want to believe it cannot exist and therefore project that porn desire onto any woman because they believe woman in porn is a woman, wife is a woman, therefore wife must act like pornstar. A toy is merely a tool if someone's SO is not around, or if they are around and just want to spice things up. Your SO is away you are good to go and not a cheating type so a woman may go for a toy and a man will go for the computer screen of girls he knows he will never ever have. When someone is not in a relationship it is the same thing, a tool because they have no one to even ask to fulfill their momentary sexual desires.

**oxy-moron** · 05-07-2011 01:36 PM

Hi
It is not widely known that the hormone that powers orgasmic contractions as Oxytocin- it is used by the medical profession to provide a quicker child birth because it forces contractions.( Oxytocin means quick birth in Greek) It also drives ejaculation contraction in males- men get a 300 to 500% boost in Oxytocin at orgasm time.
You may be having orgasms now by the sound of things but you are just not getting the good feeling part.
You can boost your own Oxytocin levels through cuddling, touch or massage. It may take a while. Having a massage and cuddles before sex is a good place to start. Vibes dont boost Oxytocin.

**ItsASecret** · 05-07-2011 06:38 PM

It is not widely known that the hormone that powers orgasmic contractions as Oxytocin

That is because dopamine, serotonin, and the adrenergic neurotransmitters do the work having their fun in the reward pathway in the brain. Oxytocin is there but it is like the kid that plays in the background playing a part in contractions saying "hey guys I am here too".

the hormone that powers orgasmic contractions as Oxytocin...Vibes dont boost Oxytocin.

Orgasm includes contractions big or small, contractions do have a relation to oxytocin, if a woman has orgasmic contractions from her vibe then there is some oxytocin present. Oxytocin is not a cure for everything. The woman simply wants an orgasm, she simply needs to relax and try some less intense methods rather than the wand that is all.