I think my boyfriend may be bisexual ...

**TooTiebug** · 05-18-2011 10:01 AM

My boyfriend and i have been together for a year now. Actualy, we were engaged for a few months during this year, and although we aren't anymore (long story but definitely my fault we aren't anymore) we are still together and he says he still wants to marry me. It wasn't until after the engagement was called off that i started getting concerned about his sexuality. One night while texting he began telling me he wanted me to punish him. Which i really liked because I'n my previous relationships i was the one dominated and not the dominator. Also in the begining he did tell me he liked to be kinky. i figured this was what he Ment by kinky. So, i began telling him "stories" about what i would "do" to him when he got home. (he goes to school I'n another state) well i enjoyed helping him this way until he wanted me to dress him as a girl before i dominated him. This i found odd but i thought o what the heck. It wasn't long before he was telling me he didn't want me to "punish" him but he still wanted me to make him wear sexy clothes (panties, teddies, stockings). finally it was time for him to come home for spring break and i thought there is no way this manly guy (plays contact sports, used to cage fight, was I'n the military, very muscular) will want me to really dress him as a girl! BOY WAS I WRONG! the first night home he wore stockings, lip gloss, and a school girl outfit! He was harder than ever! By the end of the week, i was so feed up with him Wanting to be the "sexy" girl that i decided to See how far i could push him as the girl! So i had him suck on a dildo and then used th dildo on him! He liked it! Then afterwards he was fine. Back to himself! Didn't mention anything. So neither did i! SincE then he still likes to be told i will dress him up. He is I'n for th summer and the first night back he asked to wear a thong and now he wants a wig! anytime i seem to bring it up when we aren't talking dirty he gets defensive and is like oh we not doing that again! Im not gay. Yet when it comes down to it he stil wants to be my "girlfriend". Don't get me wrong he still takes on the guy role and i love it. ! When I've talked to my friends (select few) some thought it was weird, some thought maybe that's the only way he knows how to "bring it down a notch" since he is like mr testosterone. I'm trying to enjoy this other "side" of him but sometimes i question why he likes that and if he even really likes it with me? Is this him really just being kinky? Or is there some identity problem? Bisexuality going on? I Want to be Ableto accept him no matter what and i feel like i have become more open since he told me a few moths ago
*sorry things aren't grammatically correct and not capitalized correctly.. I'm on my cellphone*

**demotivator** · 05-18-2011 10:51 AM

A lot of fetishes are built around the idea that those who dominate others want to be dominated in their sexual life. It's a way of letting themself go, getting rid of the concept of their day-life. Some need to act like toddlers from time to time, others need to be humiliated, punished, tied up or get caught in the act in public places. This is what makes them tick but these fetishes don't define them. A dildo in the rear end does't necessarily mean your boyfriend is gay.

**LanaBear** · 05-18-2011 10:55 AM

Some people just have different "kink" factors... I don't think there is anything wrong per se with what he is craving. Some people who have dominate personalities in every day life, feel the need to be dominated in bed. So tired of making decisions, they want that taken away from them. Men and women alike.

What I do see as a problem... I'm getting the feeling that he may be pushing your comfort levels with what he wants. If you are really not into this, it may just cause problems. He's wanting to explore more, his kink is more kinkier than yours. If you want to stay with him, you need to openly discuss your comfort levels. He needs to know how far you are willing to go at this point, if it changes in the future, fine, have another discussion then.

**rcoreyus** · 05-18-2011 11:08 AM

His fetishes are not all the unusual and have nothing to do with being gay - or weak. Sometimes men who spend a lot of their lives trying to be the strong responsible one have the fantasy of being completely under the control of someone else.

**oxy-moron** · 05-18-2011 02:56 PM

Mmm- be careful
what rcoreyus LanaBear and demotivator have said is relevant.
However you may only be seeing the tip of the iceberg.
Check out his browser history to see what he checks out on the web.
If he is like he is now when your relationship is fresh- imagine what it could be like in 10 years. Would you be happy to be married to a best friend rather than a husband.

**Lovemybabe** · 05-18-2011 05:42 PM

This type of fetish has nothing to do with him being gay. This fetish isn't all that rare. Of course you won't hear much about it. But... He seems that he likes to be dominated from what you have said. Just make sure you tell him if it's going too far. Don't lead him on. You should be happy that he is willing to be open and wanting u involved in his fetish. I personally think that it is a kink. That this is a fetish. As long as you two communicate and are ON the same page and you BOTH enjoy it then who is it hurting? I don't believe he is gay. I don't
Believe he is bi either. This is from my view (husband/man). Wish you the best but as I said. Make sure you are comfortable. Speak to him and talk.

**Lovemybabe** · 05-18-2011 05:54 PM

Oh and I strongly disagree with oxy-moron.

**oxy-moron** · 05-18-2011 06:29 PM

If you are talking about the rest of your life then it best to play it safe.
There are lots of cases of ultra masculine guy decides to get life altering surgery in his 40s because he can longer deny his female side.
And more often than not it is the ultra testosterone males it happens to because they have tried to prove their masculinity to themselves by embracing ultra male behaviour.

**TooTiebug** · 05-18-2011 10:27 PM

Oxy, that is what im worried about. Once i started thinking about all this it made me wonder if he asked me to marry him so soon because it was a way to "prove his masculinity"
Maybe I'm just over thinking things. I know at some point Im going to try to talk to him about it but i guess until i do.. I'm going to try to have fun and be opEn about it.