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Thread: Inability to last?

  1. #1
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    May 2011

    Default Inability to last?

    Hi, so I suppose this is a question I should be asking men instead of women but I was wondering if anyone else has had the same problem?

    My boyfriend is nineteen and perfectly healthy. We started having sex last week and have been, well, rather zealous with it. We're on an every-other-day schedule as of late.
    The first few times we had sex, he would last around forty minutes and claimed he could have gone longer, but the past two times he's orgasmed after more or less five minutes. The first time it happened, we waited around an hour and then decided to try again, and though he was able to last for a longer time again, he ended up losing his erection after some time, without achieving orgasm and without much of a warning, either.

    It's embarrassing for him and unsatisfying for me- we just want to know what's going wrong. I mean, are we having too much sex? Haha, we're honestly just so confused.
    Have any of you had the same issue? If so, what did you do to fix it?

  2. #2
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Northern Virginia


    Incorporate more foreplay into your sessions rather than rushing into intercourse. Slow down and try some different activities (kissing, caressing, oral, manual, etc.) before getting down to business. Getting good at sex like a lot of things just takes patience and practice.

  3. #3
    Banned from WH Array
    Join Date
    Nov 2010


    Reduce your expectations about what sex is and what "must" be accomplished in order to feel "successful" at it.

    Sex/physical intimacy is much more than intercourse. Are your expectations too high? Are his? For men, it's a huge head (mental) game that directly effects performance.

    I would suggest that he has "performance anxiety" in that he wants/expects to perform in the same manner each and every time, 40 minutes or longer, as he did in the first couple of times. Are you expecting that from him?

    I agree with Jimbeau above too. Take your time, enjoy lots more foreplay and experiment doing a lot of different things before you move on to intercourse. Afterall, foreplay is the stage where you are getting turned on and physically preparing for intercourse.

  4. #4
    jns is offline
    Triple Diamond Member (3,000+ posts & member 3 years+) Array jns's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    LA, CA


    Why stop? Go for third helpings. If he loses his erection, continue to fool around. He can keep you going either by masturbating you or with oral sex on you.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    Patrick Henry

  5. #5
    Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Array
    Join Date
    Oct 2010


    He may have been basing his expectations on previous one night stands.
    When his prostatic fluids enter a more depleted level he will have more difficulty maintaining multiple erections. I think this is as nature intended as his sperm count would otherwise diminish significantly.
    Also as Seeker_Advice and Jimbeau have said- more foreplay is probably called for as a first step.
    When I started out I used to focus foreplay as around inner-thighs working slowly inwards.
    But now I would say it is better to start with a long massage working slowly to normal foreplay.

    Good luck

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