Thread: I said no and i really like the guy

I've only had sex with two guys, the last one we dated for my last two years in high school and part of going to college. I've been trying to be oh so very selective and to date only those that I would considering marrying and that is hard while still in college as I want to finish my schooling if possible before starting a family.

Here's my problem.....I met a guy that I really like. We went slow, he told me he didn't want to rush things the first time we met two weeks ago. For two weeks we've seen each other every day and only kissed and hugged. He's been the perfect gentleman not to fondle or touch me like my first two bfs did early on.

Last night was different. I can't say why but I felt like he didn't want me and I know that wasn't true he was still the gentleman. In the heat of passion, I initiated rubbing on him, face, hair, chest, and finally to his penis. It was so much bigger than I was expecting I stopped and he ask why I stopped. I made up something stupid and he said you weren't expecting to feel what you felt were you. I was just so taken back by how big he was. I've only seen two others that were probably average after talking to my girlfriends, his was close to twice their size by my initial feeling. It kinda made me stop.....he stopped and we talked about it for seems like an hour. He's been self conscience about it since 8th grade PE classes when they had to shower and he was so much bigger than everyone else and they made fun and called him names. We agreed to cool our heels this week and see each other Fri or Sat night and see if the fire is still burning for each other.

I don't want to get my hopes up too much but I kind of like the guy but am really wondering about going any further with the relationship with his size as I'm not sure about the pain factor. I'm also wondering about how embarrassed he used to get and I don't want to add that to his fire. I'm not sure I want to include my mother for obvious reasons. Any ideas out there? Thanks in advance.

Is this the main concern - the pain factor, his size? The vagina opens up a little bit more and is able to accommodate a bigger penis when fully aroused - unless you are sooo petite and have such a small opening.

I think you you are right about taking it slow though. Get to know the person more, make sure he has the quality you want in a man you'd consider marrying. Do things together that would foster bond and frienship between the two of you - that would make your relationship stronger. Depends on your deal breakers and boundaries, I'd say at your age, do not sleep with a man who has not committed to a monogamous relationship with you. Mostly, be protected at all times.

Taking the relationship pace itself and develop is a good way to filter the quality person ideal for a lifetime partner. If he is for you, you two will make it through, regardless of the size (unless of course, it will make you bleed or uncomfy - rare occasion).Take care.

Take it slow like Caterpillar79 says. There is no rush - he is obviously very self conscious about it and that should make him a gentle lover.
Probably for the rest of his life. First few times be on top and control the depth and pace yourself.

You could even have lube handy just to make things easier, when you're emotionally ready that is

I agree with all of the above. He clearly knows that he's larger than normal so he understands your hesitance, and that right there shows a lot of character if you ask me. But when it does come to "the act" I agree with waya, use some lubrication. It's probably going to hurt at first and in that case ease into it. Maybe don't take him in fully at first until you are comfortable with it. That should probably help. My guy is pretty big and we don't see each other often, so when we do, I have to ease into it still but then it feels pretty good.

We had a great Memorial Day together.....just hanging and messing around together. The sun was fixing to go down and we drove past a pharmacy and he just swung in there and stopped, looked at me and said that he needed to go inside and would I mind waiting in the car. Although I didn't like that, the area was well lit, so I stayed put for 5 minutes. He ran in and came out with condoms and showed them to me. Just looking at them, I could tell he hadn't bought condoms before. They were regulars so I told him I would go in with him to exchange them. After getting some Magnums XXL and going back to the same checker and her eyeing us with 'the grin' we left. You'd think we'd go to his place or mine but we went to some friends house to hang out and then left later.

It was really disconcerting to see that he was totally new at this stuff. The magnum fit him great before arousal and I couldn't hardly take my eyes off of it as I did stuff to him he had never experienced and I had only done with one other guy. I used lube as suggested and it still hurt so we didn't do a whole lot. I helped relieve him by licking him and watching him fill up his bellybutton as the end of his penis hard just barely reached it. I guess I didn't use enough lube or didn't give it enough time to acclamate to his size. I playfully ask him how big he was. He had no clue but he measured himself with me stroking him. I don't even know if I'll be able to accomodate his width. I know that 5-6 inches is average length and his is 9 1/2 but that wasn't the problem. I don't know what average width is but my past bfs weren't 7 inches like he is. Help? Is lube still the answer?

I've done a lot of research on this because I'm a stupidly insecure guy, so hopefully I can help.

The complaints I've read in my research about penises too large say that they hurt, but there have been women who say they love them once they get used to them. The common complaint is that, even after that, it still takes patience to insert the penis and get the vagina adjusted, which takes away from the overall passion/heat of the moment thing. My advice is keep using lube. You'll have to work on adjusting and he'll have to go very slow and be very patient. Also make sure you're well aroused every time as that will help your vagina expand. From what I know, it takes awhile to get used to a penis that size, but it can be done (porn stars are an obvious example).

You might also want to buy larger sized vibrators/dildos to use on yourself and help you adjust. That's a common practice when women are having pain during intercourse (which some women experience even with average sized men). You can get three sizes, for example: average, larger, and him. Start with the first and, when comfortable, move to the second. Then the third.

And 9.5 inches and it barely reaches his belly button? Dang, he's tall lol.

Oh, and the average width/girth is 4-5 inches. Your boyfriend is well above that, so you'll have to accommodate that before his length even becomes a factor.

Saturday afternoon we went to check on one of his friends boats that was working out of state. I'm expecting a regular boat and we drive up to this 30-ish foot boat with a small galley down under. After he did several things he needed to check we were ready to go and I thought this would be a great place to fool around. We went back to his car to get his condoms and my purse to get lube, we really weren't planning anything, hence the trip back to his car. We fooled around down under for nearly an hour. He was so readily aroused after 3 minutes that I don't know how we made it as long as we did. I felt I was wet and enough to not have a problem. As he was entering me, I thought it would never start in and seemed like the lube wasn't helping. When he was barely in me it hurt but I told him to continue. He was probably in about half way and he could tell by my facial expression I wasn't enjoying the pain so he pulled out. He lost his erection almost immediately so he was only about half size and I thought lets try again. This was a big mistake. Although I had to direct it being soft where to go, it went in quickly and I could feel it growing quickly and it started to hurt again even worse as he pulled it back out. He didn't loose his erection this time I removed his condom and finished him off. He is so sweet not wanting to hurt me but I don't know what else to do. I'm 5-4 120# large breasted and not wanting to loose him. I'm going to make a doctor's appointment today to see if there is anything wrong with me. Any other ideas?

You've had some good things suggested. Have you tried different sized dildos to work up to his size like darcdante mentioned? And just so you know, your height and weight and breast size don't necessarily correlate with the size of your lady parts (I'm guessing that's why you brought it up. Otherwise I don't know what your breast size would have to do with anything.) It's just like with men. A big guy won't necessarily have a large penis whereas a small guy might have a huge one