Thread: Can you please help me, I'm desperate!

Hi everyone,

I know this is probably a common complaint but everywhere I turn to for advice hasn't been helpful so far. So here I am.

I've got a couple of problems when it comes to sex. So here goes. I'm a 26 y.o woman who has been on anti-depressants for the majority of my 20's so my libido is virtually non-existent. My partner has a very high sex drive and is quite experimental. Everytime we do have sex, it HURTS! It hurts during and for a couple of hours after, its like the whole area is inflamed and sometimes I will bleed for a day or two afterwards and there is a terrible smell. I have seen countless doctors about this and no-one seems to know what is going on down there. This has been going on for about a year now and quite frankly it doesn't help my already low libido. My partner now thinks that I am no longer attracted to him as I try to avoid sex as often as possible. He wishes that I would initiate sex even just every now and again, but because I am already so sensitive about this whole area I find it virtually impossible. Not to mention that I am self-conscious about my body image at the moment and I feel like when we do have sex he isn't actually interested in me, just interested in getting laid. I'm a little intimidated by him sexually and I feel like I can't live up to his expectations.

As you can see I'm in quite a pickle, this is destroying our relationship and it's a shame when we have so much love for each other.

If anyone has ANY advice at all, please post it! I'm desperate here!

Thank you for reading

Anti-depressants very often affect your sex drive. Can you talk to your doctor and see if you can try something different? A different anti-depressant might not give you the same side effect, so it might be worth a shot.

As for the pain during sex, you are probably not aroused enough, therefore not lubricated enough. Your boyfriend should be understanding and try to work on this with you. Have you talked to him about this? If he really loves you, he should be supportive and willing to do what it takes to help you solve this, and not "just interested in getting laid". I'm not sure if that is just your perception of him due to your insecurities, or if it's his actions that make you feel that way. But either way you should talk to him about it, and talk with your doctor about what can be done to fix this. If your boyfriend really loves you, I'm sure you are the most beautiful woman in the world to him, and he will be understanding and supportive.