My boyfriend isn't interested in sex.

**captain Lej** · 05-26-2011 09:49 PM

Okay so I have a problem, I'm 20 years old and lost my virginity to this guy that I've been with for awhile, I was nineteen when it happened and it's almost been a year. Well at first i was okay with having sex when we could find time which was like once a week or maybe twice. After awhile we moved into gether and started to have sex almost every night, though he didn't last long and I never orgasimed I didn't really care for some reason and I just loved being close to him.

Now a few months ago he started saying he wasn't interested in sex and I notice he was talking to another girl and I got worried thinking he wasn't interested in me and was having sex with her but I knew it wasn't true because he said he loved me. Finally I confronted him about the girl telling him it bothered me that he was talking to her so much and that atleast when I was with him in the room to not text her but he just hid the phone.

Finally I moved out after more problems came in and he still claimed he didn't care for sex and I had had enough and was getting to the point I couldn't even remember the last time we had had sex.

A week after I left I talked to him and we got things straightened out somewhat and I'm still with my parents but I have this wierd urge that the minute I see him I get the urge to have sex and I literally have to beg for sex. I really don't know what to do because I don't want to beg and I don't want him get upset with me again for always wanting sex because even after we have it and I am like well please and almost half asleep a few hours later I'm ready to go again...

We've done a lot of things besides sex too, we've done oral sex or atleast he fingers me but that's all he does and I give him a blow job but other then that he just plays with my breast and kisses me and fingers the heck out of me till he wants it then we have it and I'm happy until in two hours I'm ready and he's not. So how do I tell myself no? I mean really do I have to start masterbating just to get pleasure or something?

**WildChild** · 05-26-2011 10:50 PM

Sounds like he isn't very experienced as a lover. Check out the Books on Sex thread, get a few and start educating yourself so you can educate him?

**oxy-moron** · 05-27-2011 02:09 PM

You need to trade him in- he is an intimacy avoider and will make you even more unhappy as time goes on.
Intimacy avoiders will feed off novel new relationships- (like vampires)The novelty helps them overcome their avoidance of intimate behavior (Thats why he was after another lady)
But even that would be short term.
For your own interest google "Cupids poison arrow"
It will show you how things work but at the end of the day I cant see a good outcome for you from him if you enjoy sex.

Good Luck

**lizzardb63** · 05-27-2011 02:34 PM

He doesn't sound very trustworthy in the first place if he hides texting another girl from you.

**captain Lej** · 05-28-2011 09:07 AM

well, I sure blew his mind last night

I just started doing what I thought would interest him and had him take me out to a back road and gave him what he called an awesome blow job and amazing sex so, I don't know, I trust him a lot more then needed and we did break up and well he didn't ever get with that girl and she didn't ever seem interested in him. I think I just need to educate myself more do more foreplay and explore him and have him explore me because afterward he even said that will definately keep romance alive and also I think if I start doing some of his fantasies that he mentioned yesterday he'll continue to be interested. IDk.