Sexually Frustrated Husband

**houndog** · 05-30-2011 02:42 PM

Okay, here it goes. My husband isnt satisfied in bed. We've been married for 17 years. He's cheated on me once for sure. He's not an a-hole, in fact, he's quite the opposite. He's a great dad to our 3 kids, he helps around our house, he cooks, he cleans, he does all the yardwork, he has a great job with a great income, he listens, he's just a great person. But in the bedroom, he's just not satisfied with me. When I caught him cheating, he says it was just for the sex. I have let myself go over the past few years gaining quite a bit of weight. I'm not comfortable naked around him as he has been critical in the past. We have sex about every other week right now and its usually pretty good. I know he masturbates and I'm actually fine with that. I'm just not sure how to "spice" things up. I'm afraid if I don't he will go elsewhere again. Can someone help me help my relationship. In the past he has liked porn and we used to try toys and just get a little crazy, but that was years ago. With kids, I don't want them hearing us. I just can't get comfortable with kids in the house. He wants to have sex during the day, has hinted to send the kids outside, and loves spontaniety, but I'm just not comfortable with the kids around and I'm not comfortable with the lights on. Suggestions?

**Seeker_Advice** · 05-30-2011 08:48 PM

I have let myself go over the past few years gaining quite a bit of weight.

Why?

Weight gain is a symptom of something else going on with you, what?

Sounds to me like you need to take a serious look at you and figure out what is going on, then fix it.

Can someone help me help my relationship.

Think back to before the children. Other than the children, what is different in your lives now compared to then? I think you need to get closer to where you were physically then compared to where you are now. You'll feel better about yourself which in turn will make you feel more sexy, desirable, etc.

Where women see bumps, bulges and imperfections, the men who love them only see curves!

**WildChild** · 05-31-2011 12:25 AM

How old are your children?

**Mikaela_Hernandez** · 05-31-2011 01:30 AM

houndog I would have to agree with Seeker_Advice your weight gain is seems to be a sign of something else going on with you. It sounds like you have a really good man in your life, I would start to make some life style changes (not saying your life style is bad at the moment) that will result in you shedding some weight and changes that get him involved so he can see you are taking steps to feel comfortable with you weight and your body.

It's important that you keep him happy in the bedroom, though this change may not come over night. When he seems you are shedding some weight and feeling over all healthier because of the changes your making with him, he should respond positively

Give him what he wants, give him some spontaneous sex, send the kids away with some family and show him that spending time together matters to you.

I would make it a point to wake up really early in the morning and put your hands all over him, won't take long for him to wake up quickly and in a good mood lol

Schedule the kids to go away with you partners perhaps and book a dinner reservation some time in the future when you feel great in a sexy evening gown and then grab a hotel room after dinner.

Change the scene a bit, surprise him! Don't over think situations and circumstances too much, go with the flow and just let yourself go

Show him that you want to enjoy him, physically and otherwise…a

Communication in key in a marriage but I believe not all communication needs to be verbal, so by actively taking steps to change and show him that he is the most important thing in the world to you...

It can only result in his love and rekindled passion for you

Start with The Makers Diet or Perfect Weight America by Jordan Ruben

(I did The Makers Diet and it was best decision I ever made! I slept better, I had more energy, I resisted colds with flus with ease... I felt 10-15 years younger because of it...kinda of a bad name for it because it's not supposed to be short term...it's a long term life style change)

**Master Bruh** · 05-31-2011 02:03 AM

You should stop worrying about your weight, yea you've gained a few pounds but really he's wanting the sex and I bet if you made a mood he wouldnt think twice about it. I know its easier said then done but hey things arent easy. For the kids various things you can do, one find a baby sitter for the night and have some couples time. While the kids are sleep you can slip into your car and well do like teens do, gives a little thrill to it. Shower sex is another option Idk how loud you get but running water can mask a lot of sound. If your loud in the bedroom grab a pillow grab or clean sock and have at it. If he likes you to be spontaneous in the morning before the kids up wake him up with a b/j or h/j. Again with the shower if he's taking one pop in and help him wash up same with masturbating give him a hand or mouth or...all of you. The thing about being married is you can try try and try again so dont get discouraged.

**rcoreyus** · 05-31-2011 11:28 AM

Your attitude is probably a lot more important than your weight. If you feel and act attractive, he will most likely think you are attractive. If you've be more adventurous in the past, do so again - as several have noted there are tricks to reduce the noise. Go to a motel (don't know the kid's ages - maybe need a sitter) and have real wild fun.

If you are gaining too much weight, that is worth working on just for your own health.

**houndog** · 05-31-2011 12:24 PM

6, 10, 13

**herbie** · 05-31-2011 01:11 PM

just ask him if there is anything that you could do that would really turn him on.i bet he answers pretty quick ......Good Luck

**houndog** · 05-31-2011 01:23 PM

6, 11 and 13

**houndog** · 05-31-2011 01:29 PM

I hear what everyone is saying and I know this is probably what he wants. Things like slipping in the car and in the shower are actually some of the things he's hinted to me about in the past. It is sort of eery that you bring those up. I just am not comfortable doing that sort of thing or things. I know that is what he wants and I feel like the one time he cheated on me it was because I wasn't doing those things. I have tried, but I'm just not comfortable. He's completely comfortable in the daylight without a thread on around me and it kind of intimidates me. I just dont know what to do to help him/me.........