Oral sex doesn't work

**Wruinin** · 05-31-2011 03:54 AM

I have a 22 year old girlfriend and she likes sex from time to time, but not oral sex, she almost hates it. I'd like to ask for some tips or help with this problem. With some of my previous girlfriends, we enjoyed oral sex both actively and passively. Some of them had very sensitive clitoris, some of them came easily just after some little massage with my finger. So I don't think the problem with my current gf is my lack of "talent". It seems some women / usually older and more experienced, are very easy to please orally. But my current gf almost hates it when I want to do it with my tongue. She feels nothing or even sometimes it turns her off from the sex in general. Her clit seems to be numb. Fortunatelly, she enjoys vaginal sex. As for fellatio, she is not interested and that's ok as I don't really need that. But I love cunnilingus and it seems I have to give it up. She only doesn't care if I do it and lets me do it for a while when she is extremely horny. Which is not very often, twice a month?

The vaginal sex is fine, maybe she will achieve orgasm inside in a few years. But before that, can you give some advice how to wake her up in terms of cunnilingus, how to make it sexually arousing for her?

**Wruinin** · 05-31-2011 07:11 AM

Before anyone comes with some advice, I will add some more comments. I went trhough the forums here and found most women enjoy the stimulation of clitoris, and have orgasm based on such stimulation, but most women don't feel much from penetration. My gf is exactly the opposite. She enjoys the intercourse very much, I am sure, but strangly her clit doesn't work. Maybe it has something do to with her attitude to her own body. She never masturbates, she hates the taste of her vagina, so I can't kiss her after oral sex, I mean during sex, of course. I think she likes a very powerful, kind of "manly" sex, but is not interested in foreplay / which is quite unusual. But to her, foreplay is cuddling, just hugging, stroking her hair, so it seems to her the ideal sex is when we hug, cuddle without touching our sexual organs, and then skipping the oral stuff, straight to the simple movements inside her. I am maybe more femminine, as I love to enjoy oral sex for a long long time and postpone my orgasm while licking and being touched by her hands. I like the provocation and fantasy about sex, she likes the final penetration for 5 minutes and then she wants to stop.

**ItsASecret** · 05-31-2011 08:17 AM

The thing with women is you cannot assume one thing that worked for one woman in the past will work for your current girlfriend. If something does not work then it does not work, you cannot force a feeling. Personally I am not the biggest fan of oral but my bf loves to give it. Either it gets too sensitive super quick or I go numb, nowhere in between that is the orgasm tingles. It is a nice feeling but by no means an orgasm inducing feeling. Find out if your girlfriend likes other things and stick with those as not everyone is going to like the same things.

**WildChild** · 05-31-2011 10:25 AM

I'm very sexually responsive and very orgasmic with vaginal sex. I've never gotten more than a very minor orgasmic thrill out of oral. Every woman is different - this is your challenge, men - find the key to help unlock the orgasmic potential of the woman you are with.

Hint: you won't get there being peniscentric

**Wruinin** · 05-31-2011 01:11 PM

Originally Posted by WildChild

I'm very sexually responsive and very orgasmic with vaginal sex. I've never gotten more than a very minor orgasmic thrill out of oral. Every woman is different - this is your challenge, men - find the key to help unlock the orgasmic potential of the woman you are with.

Hint: you won't get there being peniscentric

The thing is - should the man please the woman or vice versa? If we say we are equal and have equal rights to pleasure, then what if we end up doing things that only one of the two enjoys, while the other one is bored? Compromises, compromises.... so the result is that we only have really mutually enjoyable sex once a month. And that seems a bit too rare.

**Wruinin** · 05-31-2011 01:15 PM

And when I tell her I masturbate every other day or so, she is something between surprised and shocked. She never masturbates but has no Christian background that would prevent her from doing it. I don't know what she expects / should I stop masturbating and being horny and unable to do things other than fantasize about sex wait until once a week she comes and suggests we have sex? I am not angry with her at all, I just don't understand the situation. I always hear about couples that have sex every day or even more, but I can't imagine that. Whenever I had a partner, it was ok to have sex three times a week but never more often.

**WildChild** · 05-31-2011 01:29 PM

Originally Posted by Wruinin

The thing is - should the man please the woman or vice versa? If we say we are equal and have equal rights to pleasure, then what if we end up doing things that only one of the two enjoys, while the other one is bored? Compromises, compromises.... so the result is that we only have really mutually enjoyable sex once a month. And that seems a bit too rare.

It probably starts with learning to be a better lover and there is always something new to learn. I've been sexually active for nearly 40 years and am still actively learning new things.

It sounds like the young woman in your life is somewhat sexually inexperienced and that means you will have to let go of your "equal rights" and find ways to tease and entice her sexuality into really awakening.