Q from Man - virginity

**PM83** · 06-02-2011 06:30 PM

Recently married, sexually inexperienced, 28 year old male here. I apologize for invading a women's website, but I've been searching for an answer to this question.

I dated a girl in college who was the daughter of a preacher and claimed to be a virgin. Being a Christian and virgin myself, we decided to abstain from intercourse in our relationship. We dated off and on for 3 years and went through a lot together. Toward the end of our relationship, we started getting more physical. One emotional, very physical afternoon (we'd actually just broken up) led to us having intercourse

That very first time I penetrated her, I slipped in VERY easily, with NO foreplay, NO lube, NO pain, and NO blood. At the time I took this as her body being very excited and prepared.

Now, fast forward 5 years to last month when I had sex with my wife, a virgin, for the first time. We were extremely excited but I could barely penetrate her the first night (WITH lube) and it took 6 nights of trying for us to have full intercourse. However, once completed, our sex was the most incredible, intimate experience of my life.

My question, as a very inexperienced person, is whether it is possible for a virgin to have sex as easily as my girlfriend did in college. I've gotten the impression from my wife and and many other friends that a woman's first sexual experience is rarely easy or pleasurable. I'm not trying to pry into the past, or impune anyone's character, I guess I'm just looking for closure.

I realize at age 28 I should probably be more aware of things, but I would like some feedback on this. Thank you very much.

**LanaBear** · 06-02-2011 06:36 PM

Welcome to the forum PM... We have many male members here, so you are by no means, invading womenly space here.

What's important to remember, is every person's body handles losing its virginity differently... Blood or no blood, a woman who has sex for the first time in her 20's has more than likely broken her hymen doing an array of other activities before then, like sports for example.

She could have been aroused from just the thought of it, making it easier, you thinking no foreplay, however, sometimes just the thought alone is arousing enough.

Some people, have had no problem, no pain during their first time. Although my hymen was broken when I was 8 (I believe) from a roller skating accident, lol, the first time I had sex at 14 was EXTREMELY painful. It sucked. I had a friend who, her first time was everything a girl could hope for, no pain, no issues, etc.

So, it's in your past, I wouldn't worry about it. Like I said, it's a very individual experience.

**Mes T** · 06-02-2011 06:40 PM

Hi there,

No worries, men are just as welcome here.

It depends on the woman, and in this case it's impossible to say, basically is the answer. If she had used tampons before, played with herself, maybe used toys, her vagina would have been "used" to various penetrative things. Or yes it's possible she wasn't a virgin.

Or it's possible she had never touched herself in any way before but just happened to be one of those women who could experience sex for the first time easily.

My question is, why does it still matter?

I don't think it's possible to say for certain whether she was a virgin or not, based on that. Heck the whole "hymen" thing isn't a fool-proof indicator either.

**ItsASecret** · 06-02-2011 06:41 PM

All women are different so yes it is very possible that your past gf had an easier time and your wife has not. There is no textbook way sex should go or feel when a woman loses her virginity, each experience is different.

**PM83** · 06-02-2011 06:45 PM

Thanks for the replies. We had a lot of trust issues in our relationship (both ways - I'm not pointing fingers). Wondering about this brought up a lot of memories. I guess the best thing is to move on and not worry. Thanks again for the responses.