Possible threesome...

**punchdrunkloved** · 06-06-2011 11:28 PM

Ok all my lovely friends....I need guidance and opinions. My husband and I got into a conversation today that led to us discussing a threesome...Mind you we haven't been married long but we have known each other all our lives. I just laid it out and on the line that I wouldn't object to a 3 some (mff) with a set of previously set rules in place. I have some ideas as to what those rules should be but I want an opinion on that in case there is something I didn't think about. Neither of us have any desire to befriend this person (whoever she will be, leading to the next link of advise) but are just wanting a one off situation. We have not a clue as to know where to begin looking for this person and how do we make sure they are clean? Are there rules for this kind of a situation? lol

Please only be constructive. This isn't only my husbands fantasy but mine too...It came about after some playful banter and I was the one who suggested it could be a possibility. We aren't ready to jump as we want to do our due diligence.

**Krazy_glu3** · 06-09-2011 12:33 PM

I would advise against it, but thats just me. Me and my husband talked about it, after I was the one who mentioned I wouldnt mind one (mff). He then become somewhat... obsessed? with it.. He kept bringing it up, and asking about who it would be with. Then he went off posting on Craigslist for a third partner. He sent pictures of his , and pictures of my body (without my permission) to this unknown women. He never told me about this.. and it caused such a major fight that I started packing up everything to leave. Then again, I've dealt with so many previous things between him and women that this was kind of the last straw.. It seemed to make more problems if anything. I even told him that I've heard so many stories about how 3somes ruined marriages and relationships, even when its agreed upon the two partners to do it. But maybe yall are the other kind that doesnt let it affect them.
As for finding someone, good luck.. I'm not really sure where you can go to find someone for this... I'm almost CERTAIN theirs websites for this. Google them. It will be hard to trust someone who says they are clean. I'd want them to get tested and bring me the results to make sure, lol. If this is what yall really want to do, then good luck. Hope yall have fun

**WildChild** · 06-09-2011 12:55 PM

Maybe start with visiting a swingers group? That would give you an opportunity to talk with people who have experience with this.

**jns** · 06-09-2011 07:57 PM

What kind of a situation do you want? A two-on-one or do you want three pairings?

Since you do not want anything continuing, you will have limited input to determine if the girl is clean.

This could upset the stability of your marriage.

**punchdrunkloved** · 06-10-2011 10:30 PM

It would be all three of us involved. Its something I have wanted to try for some time. We are both on the same page and this isn't something we are willing to just jump into right away. Neither of us are more gung-ho than the other either, we are both precautious where others are concerned. We research together and honestly the thought of it kinda "does the trick" if you will. For now its just a thrill to talk about and try to figure out. I have gone to some of those websites and they are downright scary. We are adventurous but we also don't want to involve anyone that has slept with everything that moves. We recently "played" in a virtual world with an online friend. No pixels aren't the same but it was a very visual and verbal encounter. Safe enough for the time being.

We are taking every precaution to make sure that our marriage comes first and that a third party or even the fulfillment of a fantasy won't take the forefront. I think for the time being it's kind of a curiosity for the both of us. If we can't find a viable solution then it will remain unexplored in reality. Our relationship isn't worth losing.

**punchdrunkloved** · 08-20-2011 06:21 PM

Well just to update the situation a bit for those interested. We found our third party. She is actually a friend of ours who lives quite a distance from us, which we were both comfortable with. So we have the capability of setting boundaries and guidelines, and I know her history and the fact that she is clean. We didn't want to rush into anything and it happened to just kind of occur and evolve.

**Taos** · 08-20-2011 07:48 PM

punchdrunkloved,

I would advise extreme caution. A threesome can become unwieldy in a New York second, especially if your husband starts to see the other woman on the side.

When I was in love with an old girlfriend, I had absolutely no desire to bring anyone else into our bedroom. I only wanted her. I am being completely serious here: there could have been an entire NFL cheer leading squad naked and ready to go in our bedroom, and I wouldn't have given them the time of day. When a man is in love with a woman, he only wants to be with her.

On the other hand, this might satisfy a desire you have. If you want to be with another woman, while it might turn on your husband momentarily, he'll think about it objectively later. And what he thinks about might not be what you'd hope he thinks about.

My advice is to let it continue to be a fantasy, and even talk about during sex. But I would advise against sharing your man with another woman and his sharing you with another man. Lots of women share their fantasies with their boyfriends and husbands. But more often than not, fantasies should remain just that: fantasies.

Jus' sayin'...

Taos

**Elanor-Jane** · 08-21-2011 01:29 AM

An ex and I had a threesome with another friend of his, male, so I was exceptionally happy. Ive had threesoms with a friend of mine and a guy she was seeing too, were all good friends so no one got jealous, theyre still together and happy etc.I find women attractive, but haven't had the desire to date one etc but my now bf and I have considered it, at my request. Let us know how u go lol. Make sure your mind is pretty straight when u do it, no drugs etc, I've heard of people getting weird after the fact but only because it wasn't very thought out.
Also it's only going to be fun if you actually want to have sex with the woman involved or really like seeing your partner having sex with someone else otherwise it's just going to be about male satisfaction and it needs to be satisfying for all

**marcopoly** · 08-24-2011 12:37 PM

If I ever think in doing a threesome, it will happen much later in our lives....may be in our 50s or even 60s when we have experienced as much as possible and the only thing missing is the fantasy of including another female or male into the mix....to be honest, imagening my wife being ed by another man is pretty exiting fantasy...my wife wouldn't dig another woman, maybe if I propose a foursome, could be more interesting.....anyway, all in the far future...if ever...