Still unable to orgasm during masturbation :(

**FlowerFairy** · 06-24-2011 04:49 AM

I posted around 6 months ago.

http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...-problems.html

I am still having trouble. Since then I have also gotten a rabbit vibrator which I'm able to insert without it hurting, and I do like the feel of it, and the clitoral vibration feels good too, but I just still don't orgasm.

Sometimes I have to move the vibrator away from my clit as it feels so intense to the point of being uncomfortable. If I manage to leave it there, I seem to uncontrollably let out a lot of liquid (I suspect it isn't urine) which is quite messy, but I don't actually orgasm. (Is there any way to stop that liquid? I hate the mess...). Aren't people supposed to actually orgasm when that happens? I do feel a more and more intense feeling building up, but it just never seems to peak. Eventually I give up and it just stops as soon as I stop the stimulation.

Also, if I have my vibrator set to both the vaginal and clitoral stimulation at the same time, I can't really feel the clitoral stimulation very well. I have to actually turn off the vaginal one. Does that mean there's actually something wrong that I can't feel both lots at the same time properly?

I just really don't know what to do. Should I accept that I can't orgasm? Or is there still hope? It is a nightmare the few days before my time of month as I just constantly have tension that... doesn't go away and distracts me a bit. Is there any way other than sex/ masturbation to remove these needs? Like... are there any medications that reduce sex drive that are available without seeing a doctor?

I have the rabbit vibrator and 2 small vibrators to play around with. Any ideas?

**Mes T** · 06-24-2011 08:32 AM

Oh my gosh girl, perish any thought of taking medication to lessen your sexual needs. You deserve better than that.

When I was first learning to orgasm I too had that feeling of vaginal things overpowering feelings to my clit, and then stimulating the clit directly causing too much sensitivity...

Try using just a small vibrator on, or AROUND, your clit. Play with the settings: low, medium, high. Don't use your vibrator directly on your clit. Use *lubrication*. This is extremely important. Lubrication helps to heighten your senses, okay?

Think of things that turn you on. Romantic novels... pictures of some kind... movies... videos... your own imagination...

The mind is just as important in reaching orgasm as physical stimulation is.

**waya** · 06-24-2011 08:33 AM

Don't give up. It can take a while to find what works for you and even then you can discover new things months down the road. It is possible to have ejaculation without orgasm, I've done that myself. I think what happens is you basically milk the gland there but don't quote me on that. What are your hips doing? For me, I can't orgasm if I'm concentrating on moving a toy with my hand and trying to find the right spots, etc. It helps to put a pillow under my thighs and pressed against the base of the toy as this allows me to move on it naturally. It's hard for me to let go if I'm having to think too much about my hands. Sometimes vibration can make you numb. Have you tried having it off part of the time then turning it on for a short while? And no, there's nothing wrong if clitoral stimulation feel less intense when combined with vaginal.

**WildChild** · 06-24-2011 09:52 AM

That liquid would be the result of gspot stimulation. Woman! Many ladies devote all kinds of effort to getting there.

My guess is that if you had a brain scan while that was going on, it would show you are orgasming bit some reason are not letting yourself feel it or are heading it off at the pass so to speak. This is apparently not uncommon. Try backing off on the heavy stimulation and just make love to yourself. Light some candles, spend time just enjoying touching your body, all over, give it lots of attention and appreciation instead of making demands. When you get to your clit, after you've given every other part of you lots of caresses and loving touch, use some saliva or a little lube and start to stimulate yourself gently. When you can feel a response building, a warming and bit of a tingle, that may be in your toes or your belly or someplace else, then back off a few seconds, touch else where and then resume, keep building it up and then, letting it go just a bit.

Weird analogy but ever been fishing? If you catch one of any real size you don't just yank them in. You bring them in a little, let the line out a little, bring them in some more, ease it up a little, if you don't you may lose them. Right now you need to tease an orgasm into full response. Back off on some of the tools and use your hands or just a little vibe stimulation. And Relax more.

**FlowerFairy** · 06-24-2011 04:00 PM

I get the liquid the most when I have only held a vibrator on my clit, so that seems very strange considering my g-spot was untouched. I don't get why people like trying to make this mess! It's annoying!

So if I wanted to get some lube... what should I be looking for? Will any lube just do the job?

Fantasizing turns me on, although I try to avoid it as my thoughts during it are pretty weird and I worry about if I let my mind drift too far into it. I wonder if the fact that my room is a huge mess and I hate that is affecting my ability to orgasm too. Maybe this is more a mind thing for me than anything else.

The other thing I wonder is... how safe is it to insert vibrators into my anus? I feel a lot of sensitivity there and am really curious about how it'd feel putting something in there, but are reluctant to put anything in just in case its dangerous... a trip to the emergency room from an injury done while masturbating would be the most embarrassing thing that could happen to somebody!

**Mes T** · 06-24-2011 05:07 PM

Any water-based lube from your local supermarket will do. This is definitely step one, so off you go.

Clean up your room, light some nice candles, relax, and see where your mind takes you. There's no such thing as getting "too far" into it. Exploring your mind and body simultaneously can be wonderful.

I would hold off on inserting foreign objects into your anus until you're comfortable with just using your finger(s). Again, lube is VERY important. If you create a tear there, it can get infected and take a long time to heal. Just experiment with your fingers first.

**waya** · 06-24-2011 08:23 PM

Know what you're doing before starting anal play. Don't insert anything that doesn't have a wide base to prevent it from being sucked into the rectum. Also don't use a toy in your vagina after it has been in your anus, whether you've cleaned it or not. And always use lube but these are just tips.