boyfriend cant get it up...

**junbug** · 07-11-2011 12:46 PM

i have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 months and we have just started being sexual active. now he was my first but i wasnt hes. now we have had a sex a couple times. but most of the time he cant get it up or he gets it up and when its time to have sex its gone. and then last night he had a wet dream and he came a lot. i know its not me cause he had this problem with hes ex. i just dont know what to do. i am very worried cause he says sometimes he cant feel it down there. and i think he should see a doctor but idk. have any advice?? please help me out.

**LanaBear** · 07-11-2011 01:13 PM

It would probably be wise for him to go to the Dr and have a physical.

Do you or him put a lot of pressure to have sex, be hard, etc? Sometimes that is the worst enemy. If he's putting a lot of pressure on himself, willing himself to get and stay hard, then that is a sure fire way to make it not happen.

Have a long understanding talk. Try to do other things sexually that do not lead to penetration for a while, see how it goes.

**lizzardb63** · 07-11-2011 01:15 PM

Yes, I agree. He should probably see his doctor. Is he on any medications? Stressed out? Under a lot of pressure. All of these could have an impact.

**jns** · 07-11-2011 05:53 PM

If he had a wet dream, he probably doesn't have any major physical problems. The problem is most likely psychological. He may be putting you on a pedestal and being intimidated. Spend a lot of time hugging and kissing, preferably naked. After a while he should become less intimidated or anxious.

**oxy-moron** · 07-11-2011 10:46 PM

There are so many things that it could be. It could be cardiovascular fitness- Low Free testosterone- Stress- excessive porn use.
Does he wake up with erections- testosterone is higher in the morning.
Try jns hugging and kissing suggestion-especially in the morning-maybe some regular massage sessions as well.