Vaginal depth and I don't know if I'm capable of having sex?

**rouge** · 07-20-2011 03:44 AM

I'm an eighteen year old and where I was born with a genetic defect in which I was born without a uterus and my ovaries were removed at one years old because they weren't healthy. I'm not sure what this condition is called, if I knew the name then it would make things easier for me to research.

I've been visiting a gynecologist since I was eleven. My parents told me about the condition when I was 15 which was really hard for me. I visited my gynecologist after three years at the age of eighteen (just recently) and I asked her all my questions now that I was more mature. I knew that I couldn't reproduce but I asked her if I could have sex normally. She told me that she couldn't really see if I could do it since she obviously couldn't measure my vagina.

I come from a culture in which sex is very closed, and its not something I have experienced or tried. Now, I'm not very comfortable with masturbation and I've never really done it. I have tried ONLY to see if I'm sensitive, fingering has never had much of an effect. The only time I've felt pleasure and like a strange climax is when I used a hand shower (like a small massaging shower head thing)....So after visiting the doctor, I tried putting my finger inside just to explore how deep it would go. Its kinda scary, cause you don't know when something is gonna tear, but I tried to be brave cause I really wanted to know how much of my vagina was able to be penetrated.

It did happen to go a little deeper than I knew it to have been, but I realized that after massaging with the shower and getting like a weird explosive feeling (which I'm not sure if its an orgasm) my vagina hurts less but I can only get about three fourths of my index finger inside...which is about 5-5.5 cms and I can't go further, because it hits something hard, and I think its almost like circular. :/ Plus, I don't really feel any pleasure from using my fingers, only the hand shower :S The only feeling is sometimes, theres a sharp pain, especially in the front walls of the vagina, and after the pain there's like this weird empty feeling in there which makes me get kind of squirmish.

I've read online that a normal vagina is about 4 inches deep when unaroused and stretches to 8 inches when aroused and penetrated. Thats why I tried getting my finger in, thinking the vagina would stretch, but it doesn't seem possible to go beyond that "hard part". I don't think that its a cervix, because a cervix is part of a uterus right?

I'm really scared that I can't have sex, and I won't be able to satisfy a man. My doctor said that it's enough if the penis penetrates only a little bit, but I read that penis goes all the way in. It just makes me feel so horrible when my body isn't formed the same way as other girls. Is what I'm experiencing normal? Is it possible for me to have sex? Why is it that I don't get pleasure from fingering? And btw, if I've put a finger inside there (or a bit of it), does that mean my vagina still functions like a "virgin vagina"? Because people say that the vagina enlarges when you have sex, and are small for virgins, but If I've tried to get my finger inside, isn't it the same thing?

**oxy-moron** · 07-20-2011 04:31 AM

Hi
Do your depth testing both lying on your back and on your front.
Things move and angles change.
You probably need to go to a specialist doctor like a Gynaecologist.
How your previous surgeries have left you will have a big impact on how much penetration you can accept. The surgeon who performed the surgery may have anticipated further surgery when you stopped growing.
As a man I think that sex can be performed adequately with just 5 to 6 cm of vagina.
The entrance of the vagina is its tightest point and a very good time can be had just staying at that depth. However a surgeon should be able to free up more space if that is required.
Perhaps more important is the state of your hormones and nerves.
It is a good sign that you were able to have an Orgasm. This puts you on level footing with a lot of women.
That leaves lubrication which you can supplement if required with artificial lube.

The Front wall of the vagina is where there will be most sensation. Feeling there is probably also a good sign. It is there that vaginal orgasm is most likely to be created.
I think that most males are happy to reach the bottom of a vagina it makes them feel more manly.
Good luck- Im sure you will be fine.

**jns** · 07-20-2011 07:26 PM

Do you still have your hymen? If you do, that could be what you are hitting. If you want to go deeper, you will not be able to do it with the hymen in place. If you do not have a hymen, a dildo could help in finding out what depth your vagina has. Do you stimulate your clitoris to try to get to orgasm?

**sleen** · 07-28-2011 11:26 AM

I think its very good that you have sought advice here. And I would like to start off by saying that I don't see any reason why you would not be able to have a normal sex life, once you become sexually active.

It sounds like you are able to achieve an orgasm using the shower head. Which is something a lot of women have tried (including myself) and been successful with.

My advice would be to use the shower head to become aroused, THEN see how far in your finger goes. Also, because you are still a virgin, you may indeed be reaching your hymen which does actually break when you first have intercourse. It sounds scary and it does hurt a little bit, but after that you may find that you are able to go deeper.

Another thing you can try, which I think has been mentioned before, is to get a dildo and experiment with that. Just relax and go slowly, making sure you are comfortable and able to become aroused. If you are not aroused, it will be less comfortable and may not give you an accurate idea of the actual depth of your vagina.

**marcopoly** · 08-24-2011 01:49 PM

Another think you have to keep in mind is that one you finally fall in love, your vagina is not the only think that men sexually like in a woman, if a woman learn to do a great BJ is excellent since men do enjoy this very much....if you work out and keep in shape, if you work on being sexy and sensual, and give amazing kisses and bjs, any men, would want to invest in a relationship with you. The vagina think is important and the fact that you can still have fun with the shower, makes me beleive that you could have a lot of fun with a magic wand (my wife has at least 1 very intense orgasms with it and several small ones before we have intercourse) what I am saying is that as long as the man loves you, he'll learn how to pleasure you and vice versa, it will become intimacy between you both....don't lose hope, that you can and will have a decent full sex live...you'll see.....

**musiclova** · 08-24-2011 04:08 PM

"in a woman, if a woman learn to do a great BJ is excellent since men do enjoy this very much....if you work out and keep in shape, if you work on being sexy and sensual, and give amazing kisses and bjs, any men, would want to invest in a relationship with you."

I believe personality and character are key. Sure looking good and giving amazing oral sex is great but the is much more to in being in a meaningful relationship than that.