My New Wife

**ska1331** · 07-26-2011 03:46 PM

Ok well time for a serious post for me. My wife and I have been together almost 20yrs. Our sex life was always just ok at best. It went almost non- existant for awhile as well. Here is the issue, my wife has suddenly decided that sex is the greatest thing ever. Not only does she want it more frequently, but she is starting to try ( without me asking) things she would never even admit to thinking about before. The quality has gone from mechanical to OMG!!! What i want to know, seriously, is how can I encourage her without embarrasing her. She has always been very reluctant to discuss sex. I also dont want to end her new won title as the greatest sex partner of my life. Oh and it may help to know she is 42, nearer to 43, and im about to turn 40. thank you for any input or insight.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-26-2011 04:09 PM

We as women tend to go back to our 20's when we reach 40, sexuality becomes a very sexy thing, sensual thing..

I suggest you don't talk rather, enjoy and encourage through intimacy, love by your own actions and hers and let it develop. Talking about it may make her think, "hey, so now your hot, this is what I want now".. Instead of actions where she goes "OMG I never knew I could do that, or could feel that" as a mutual getting to know a new level of intimacy together.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 07-26-2011 04:59 PM

It sounds like things are happening naturally, on their own, without force. Why not sit back and enjoy it? Why encourage her to do more when it sounds like she is blossoming into a very sexual flower naturally? I'm with CW, sometimes less talk and more action is key.

**jns** · 07-26-2011 09:05 PM

Let her lead to where she wants to go.

**stressed** · 07-27-2011 02:45 AM

Don't encourage by words, but by responding to her new ideas and even coming up with new ideas of your own. Since she's not comfortable talking about sex it would probably make her self-conscious if you brought it up with words. Above all: consider yourself lucky and appreciate what you have every day

**ska1331** · 07-28-2011 04:43 PM

Thank you guys for your guidance. I was just kind of worried that by not somehow acknowledging her new sexuality, she would feel that i didnt appreciate her. Sort of like when your SO doesnt notice when you spent all day cleaning or went all out on creating a wonderful meal and they respond with looks fine or tasted ok. I just dont want her to feel any less than everything I've ever wanted in a partner. We are both in the military reserve and currently seperated for that reason, but we'll be together this weekend

Again thanks for the insight and will definitely put that to work A.S.A.P.