Thread: My partner cannot feel arousal

In search of advice on a long-lived problem.. this place looked nice so I thought I'd join and ask.

I'm currently in a relationship with my ftm boyfriend (he still has a womans bits, so I figured this place might be helpful) and we've been together for two years. We love eachother very much and we both would love to have a very active and kinky sex life. The only problem is, as much as he WANTS the sex, and as much as he thinks about sex (as well as myself), he has an incredibly hard time feeling any arousal whatsoever. No matter what we try, he can barely feel anything at all. His entire private area is practically unresponsive, other than being wet with foreplay.. and that doesn't always happen, either. As much as he hates his female parts, he still is willing to try using them for any feeling at ALL. Even when he masturbates, he takes a very long time to hit orgasm, and during the entire process, he explains to me that the only time he feels even the slightest thing is during the orgasm. Any help? :C

I imagine hating his female parts is part of the issue. It seems fairly common for women to mentally disconnect from their bodies and not enjoy the sensations of sex. Of course, it never hurts to be checked by a doctor.

Originally Posted by waya

I imagine hating his female parts is part of the issue. It seems fairly common for women to mentally disconnect from their bodies and not enjoy the sensations of sex. Of course, it never hurts to be checked by a doctor.

Yeah, we've already taken that into account. At the moment we really cant get an appointment w/ a doctor being that he's not in his country of residence and we dont have any sort of health coverage until he's at home... where I'm not. Lots of people have mentioned the dysforia about his body, but there's really nothing we can do about that until he undergoes transitional surgery. Thanks tho.