Porn?...
So im fairly new to sex, had it for the first time a little over 2months ago and im still kind of shy. My bf has obvioulsy had other partners(hes 23) and he has been my only(im 22) and im pretty open about trying things and what not. But my question is that can you really learn from porn? I really would want to "learn" and be "good" so i can please him more, i mean he doesnt complain at all but i just feel the need to. any advise or comments are really appreciate and recommendations as well...
What can you learn from porn? Nothing. At least not from most commercial porn. Sex is meant to be a shared experience where you make each other happy, but porn typically only concentrates on the desires of the man. Everything is always about his penis, never about her. Porn teaches you as much about good sex as working at McDonald's teaches you about gourmet cooking.
True i never thought of it like that. Reason i asked its because my friend told me it helped her and what now. & ever since she mentioned it, it like stuck in my head.Originally Posted by Texinator
I disagree with tex, I think you can learn from porn, but you have to know what you are looking for. Cooking at mcdonalds vs being a gourmet is not a good analogy.
I liken it more to learning how to drive while watching racing on tv. What they do on tv is extreme, fast and furious. But some of the more subtle things they do can be beneficial to learn. Driving defensively, avoiding collisions, being aware of cars around you, and when to brake/steer out of a slide are pretty standard ideas.
Just like in porn, some things are universal. Granted, there is a lot of variation in porn, so tex might be right about some of it. Some of it is too extreme or male oriented, but a lot of women like porn, too. You just have to know what you are looking for. If you can find some more female friendly porn, look at the details, like where she puts her hands in some positions, how she arches her back to make her butt look better, and even how to move in some more adventurous positions. Most sites have "romantic" or "couple" porn sections. Some sites even have categories labeled "female friendly."
Porn is, by and large, made for guys. So if she is looking to be sexier for a guy, there are some things she could learn. But most of all, those women are confident in their bodies and how they move. Thats good for both men and women! If a woman sees just one thing in an adult movie that she is excited to try, that is sexy for everyone involved! Just have fun!
Good to get both perspectives. Thanks alot for your info, trust me all this helps alot
Last edited by LanaBear; 07-29-2011 at 04:58 PM. Reason: fixed quote box
I think, personally, you are better off with books. Books on positions, sexual satisfactions, oral sex, how to please a partner, etc. You may want to take a look at the Books on Sex thread we have going on, there have been some great recommendations.
If you do go the porn route... I'd go with an amateur type of porn, homemade movies that couple's have posted, not the whole movie production porn. The only thing you will eventually learn is that a man pounding away madly into a woman, having a boxing match with her cervix really isn't enjoyable.
Last edited by LanaBear; 07-29-2011 at 04:40 PM.
Friendship Prayer
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Amen
Whoever said anything was possible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
i will look at the section right now and i have seen amateur porn but with him, i feel weird watching it by myself.
One thing I forgot to mention about looking at porn, is to look at it for YOU. You might see some things you will want to try to make you feel sexier for him, but dont be afraid to see something and say, "Hey! That turns ME on!" Then you can watch it with him and say, "I think I might like that" to get HIM to do some things HE learned for YOU!
There isnt a man or woman alive that knows everything about sex, so keep an open mind and be always willing to learn new things. Being open, confident, caring, and enthusiastic makes good lovers great.
There are plenty of videos out there that are for educational purposes. Is the category called "erotica"?? I'm not sure... But for heaven's sake please don't watch porn in order to "educate" yourself on sex. You'll end up acting like a sex blow-up doll and won't get any pleasure out of it yourself. My two cents anyway!
There are also so reputable companies out there that do sell educational vidoes as well as book. These are often a how to video on a particular act such as oral for him, oral for her etc. It's sometimes easier to see the couple more into and out of position on video than reading. The added benifit is you can watch it with your partner and guage their enthusiasm. Of course there is the old-fashion method of just exploring and experimenting. Thats what worked in my marriage and it was actually fun as well.
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