Thread: help

Sarah, I actually had your exact problem. My bf was lazy and did absolutely nothing. I would want to have sex with him and he would always say he's not in the mood, but then he would go masturbate. I asked him if he liked watching porn more than having sex with me, he said no, he said it was just easier for him to jack-off. When you have a lazy bf, having a good sex-life is a little hard. I don't really think there's any harm in a guy watching porn and jacking off- until they choose that over sex. When my bf did that to me I started taking control in the bedroom. I stopped asking him if he was in the mood and I would just get him hard and then have sex with him. I would start out by doing all the work and then I would make him do all the work. This took the problem away. I also recorded a video of me and him having sex so he could watch that instead of watching porn. I also started trying new things, new positions, I made it exciting for both of us.

Try taking a different approach on the whole situation. Your bf probably just thinks it's easier and quicker to wank himself off instead of having sex. All you need to do is stop asking him if he's in the mood and just make him hard and get what you want out of it. He just doesn't want to do any of the work. Start out by you doing all the work and then gradually make him do all the work. I'm pretty sure that this will help you.

thank u T-man and jabooloo14 for ur comments it really opens my eyes to this situation. I have tried takin control in the bedroom his response was stop tryin to force urself on me. By this i got upset but didnt let him know that. I kno T-man that theres plenty of fish out in the sea who would b happy to have me but i love this man even if doesnt treat me that well all the time, he's my high school sweet heart. I have stopped asking if he's in the mood and sometimes he will have sex wit me, could use give me a few ideas (pointers) to get him really interested in me again would b much appreciated

Hi Sarah,

Get him out of the house. Go on dates, go places, go to the beach (if you can) the park, the woods. Just get him away from the computer. When his head is not cluttered with all the computer jargon you stand a much better chance of arousing him. Like the girls said before, don't ask, just create the situation.

But if that doesn't work. Then stop paying him attention. Right now he has nothing to fear. He has everything he needs. He has his porn, you do things for him and you are the one always looking for his attention. If you stop that, and go hang out with your friends who I'm sure miss hanging out with you then you'll relax and he'll begin to miss you. Cut him off. I'm not saying date other guys, just get on with your life. He should be a part of your life but not BE your life.

If you're suddenly not paying him so much attention he will wonder why and start chasing you again. He'll miss you. But now, he doesn't have the chance to miss you. Make yourself busy. "sorry can't hang out, I have plans." When you're not so available he will naturally want to find a time to hang out with you.

But if he doesn't, and he doesn't call you, or ask you out again etc. then you know he's not the one for you.

Good luck

i try and go out with him like for a walk or something but he doesnt want too. We do go out to the pub together but he doesnt really dance wit me he just mingles wit ppl thats all. He does call me when im not wit him asking me want im doin etc. And sometimes i do c him when he wants to c me but we just watch movies all day when he wants to c me and its boring i told him that but he doesnt care he neva wants to get out wit me its always me. But ill take ur advice on board and try and get on with my life and try not to make it all abt him

This really sucks because he his missing out on the real deal: you! And your suffering as the situation is being treated by him as one that is only concerned with his pleasure. A high functioning relationship is based on BOTH participants wanting to please each other and have pleasure together. He needs to wake up to himself and maybe he will when women keep leaving him. You can do better, I've experience similar situations (non porn related, porn has a limited but healthy existence in my relationship) and sometimes it takes extreme measures to make people change for their own good, even if your not around for it.

he says that he doesnt watch much porn but ive been so use to him not doin it at all that im offened when i found out he thinks im selfish for not thinking of him in this situation but what abt me we dnt live together but we do c each other a lot when he rings i think he wants to c me but hes always on the computer watchin movies non porn related or playin games and im there watchin bored out of my mind mayb its me, mayb im just to into sex. i would live sex at least three to four times a week this is so fustratin mayb i should c a doctor to c if they can give me somethin for it