Communication

**Firefly3** · 08-04-2011 05:46 PM

About sex with my boyfriend. Why is it so hard for me to do it. We have been together a year now. It has never really been broughten up before. Before last night. I want to talk about itnwith him, but I seem a little shy about it. I'm the kind of person that has low self esteem. And he likes to remind me of it. I'm trying other things to boost my confidence. But anyways, I think I'm like that about talking about it, cus he sometimes picks at all my flaws and lays them on the table. So I guess I'm just nervous to say something "wrong". So if anyone has some tips on how to communicate with your partner better, I'm all ears...well all eyes, here.

**Texinator** · 08-04-2011 06:57 PM

In order to be able to talk to your partner about sex, you first have to trust your partner and feel comfortable enough to speak with him candidly. But you don't have that with your boyfriend. He picks on you and hurts your self esteem, and then you worry about saying something or asking something that could result in him picking on you again. I understand it's tricky because the shyness brought on by low self esteem, but the first conversation you need to have with him actually is not about sex, and instead you need to let him know how his comments to you hurt your feelings.

**jns** · 08-04-2011 08:21 PM

Originally Posted by Firefly3

About sex with my boyfriend. Why is it so hard for me to do it. We have been together a year now. It has never really been broughten up before. Before last night. I want to talk about itnwith him, but I seem a little shy about it. I'm the kind of person that has low self esteem. And he likes to remind me of it. I'm trying other things to boost my confidence. But anyways, I think I'm like that about talking about it, cus he sometimes picks at all my flaws and lays them on the table. So I guess I'm just nervous to say something "wrong". So if anyone has some tips on how to communicate with your partner better, I'm all ears...well all eyes, here.

I would get rid of this bf and get another. I am dead serious about this. For him to remind you of your low self esteem is bullying. He should have done anything in his power to build up your self esteem if he wanted an equal partnership. He has shown his true colors. I wouldn't give him a second chance on this. I see it as a major character flaw. He doesn't deserve you.

**rcoreyus** · 08-04-2011 11:16 PM

Someone who loves you will never pick at your flaws. If you tell them your most secret desires, they will do everything to fulfill them, or at worst, apologize for not being able to.

**maverick** · 08-05-2011 02:02 PM

What jns & rcoreyus said. Unless you want to make a bad choice, do not have sex with this person. If he treats you this way he neither respects you nor loves you. You can do better.

**Taos** · 08-05-2011 08:15 PM

Firefly3,

I'd communicate adios to him.

Take care,

Taos

**Thomas Hepburn** · 08-06-2011 01:26 AM

Tell him you would like to sit down and talk to him about some issues without him picking on your faults. Who in this world hasn't got faults??? If he is so insensitive that he doesn't understand this, then maybe he's the wrong guy for you. x

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-06-2011 03:15 AM

Playing on someones low self esteme? Does he not realise the more he puts you down the worse it is, the less intimacy he gets, he does not respect you and you don't know and love yourself enough and it's time that you did, he is not worth it.