still happening

**sarah14** · 08-09-2011 10:04 PM

ive posted a post abt my boyfriend watching porn and how i needed help wit it. But now i find out that most of the time when i leave to go somewhere he will get on the computer and masturbate when i leave, do he really love me. We've talked abt it and he says he doesnt watch it too much just abt 8 mins a week, and that he loves me so much and if things dnt work out he'll still love me, then he was goin on abt my weight how im abit chubby but my personality makes up for that he neva complained abt our sex life, I ask him abt sex and he says it's sex but to me it sounded like he was bored wit it. we have had previous fights where he would say that he wanted to have sex wit different women but that was out of anger and he would tell me he didnt mean it. I dnt get it wat do those women have that i dnt.

im sexy, good looking im not that chubby either and i have a great personality so wat is there not to like

**jns** · 08-09-2011 11:39 PM

Everything is fine with you, the problem is with your bf. Don't worry about being a little chubby, there are plenty of guys who like that. Your bf is striking out by telling you about your weight unless it is to a point where it will affect your health and even then he should be discrete in the way he says things. Rather, if that was the case, he should work toward having a healthier lifestyle between you two. I think it would be hard when you are between boyfriends, but you would do better with a different boyfriend who loved you for who and what you are, not some idealized person.

**sarah14** · 08-10-2011 01:10 AM

i think im fine i would say im in my average weight range 80-90kgs im just under six feet

**Mes T** · 08-10-2011 01:14 AM

Your actual weight isn't the issue here, it's how your boyfriend is treating you. I think there's something unhealthy going on here, like him threatening to have sex with other women as a weapon, which is totally hurtful because of all the PORN he's watching, even though he knows it makes you upset. And then making useless comments about your weight. At what point does someone think it's okay to behave like that in a relationship, I wonder?

Are you happy with him otherwise?

**sarah14** · 08-10-2011 03:12 AM

he said it out of anger and he told me he was sorry and he hasnt done anythin like that to hurt me i love im just tryin to get our lifes on track. I was a bit annoyed today and he kept askin wats wrong so i said that i want to have sex, mayb its me mayb i just love my sex too much and doesnt like it as much as i do so he has to watch porn to have a break or somethin like that

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-10-2011 04:07 AM

I am confused,

You love sex and so are there 24/7 ...He has said in "anger" that he wants to try different women and looks up porn.

All I can calculate from that is he wants love? Intimacy not sex? To feel that bond, feel he is worthy not a sex machine? But trying to find ways of what you want? Therefore wanting to find if his thoughts are right, pertaining to sex?

The only thing about that, that sways a different way is weight, but your personality makes up for it, that tells me another story, you make him laugh, you are a best friend, he's not attracted to you, wants someone whom is submissive not wanting it and checks porn from his fantasies.

You way have to tell us more about the relationship in order to work out which one he may be, what's going on.

CW

**sarah14** · 08-10-2011 06:01 AM

thats the thing i dnt think i can coz its confused me as well. i dnt want to make him sound bad but i dnt want to make myself sound bad either.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-10-2011 06:19 AM

Then he has made you lose sight of yourself whom you are..............

Think x

**Taos** · 08-10-2011 08:41 AM

sarah14,

Bail on the dude. He's keeping a line on you until he scores someone he thinks is better. If he'd more often than not rather jack off than be intimate with you, you're deceiving yourself if you think it's going to turn around.

Dump him and find a dude who appreciates you.

Take care,

Taos

**sarah14** · 08-10-2011 08:46 AM

im tryin to become a betta person. And he's changed too but i fell in love with the old him. He was my rock he always laughed he listened to me when no one would he loved me when i wasnt in love with him at the time he brought me things for my birthday and valentines day even kno we werent going out he use to walk me to school everyday we use to go dwn the street together after school buy things for each other, but all that changed when my family wanted me to become religious. That day when i came home from school wit my boyfriend i asked my mother if she could give me a hand for formal (prom) she said with what money i said the money that centrelink gives u to look after me to go to school she said no i left it at that went into the next room wit my boyfriend my mother comes in and asks my boyfrined if his mother gave him centrelink money to go to school he said yes then she replys to me is this where ur attituide is comin from i kno wat was goin to happen next so i asked my boyfriend to leave then i went to go to my room my mother asks me where i was goin i replied to my room coz i dnt have to put up wit this then she said ur just like ur father expects everythin handed to u on a golden plate then she went to hit me across the face which shes tried a couple of times i smack her hand out of the way and hit her in the face then ran long story short drag to my room told me how much of a i was rang up the grandparents talkin to me abt im goin dwn the wrong path told i should b christian and shouldnt have sex told the boyfriend abt it he said he might not b faithful he went out that night got a girls number flirted wit her on computer and phone problems started from there and i cant get bak to how i want to b and how i want my boyfriend to b.