Thread: Do I open up the marriage?

Hey - I would like some advice on this please. I will try and keep it short.
Met hubby at 17 as a virgin. He was 21 and experienced. Had first child at 19, married at 21. Never been happy with sex life but plodded on. Over the years my interest in sex has waned and my hubby felt forced to go outside the marriage for excitement. Recently had 20 year wedding anniversary and separated. After 4 days we were back together. The reason for break up was my lack of intimacy. Since the break up my labido has increased and I feel more affectionate.
However over the past 3 years I have been chatting to a guy on fb about my relationship and it turned to heavy flirting. We met twice with some heavy petting but no sex. The chemistry was electric. I am extremely turned on by this guy. However, when my hubby and I separated I was distraught at the thought of losing him and the relationship. We discussed opening up the marriage as I was curious to find out what sex would be like with someone who really turned me on but the thought of my hubby doing the same makes me feel very sad.
I really don't understand my feelings. I would not expect to be able try an open relationship and then say to my husband, by the way I am too jealous for you to try it too. But my fear is that once I have tried the greener grass and curiosity has been satisfied I will want to stop ....but he wouldn't.
Every time I have found out he has 'cheated' whether it be flirty chat over the internet or arranging to meet someone gets me quite turned on but jealous at the same time. I tackle him on the issue, he stops and then my interest in sex drops.
Help?