Help I don't have a Sex Drive :(

**kjl** · 08-13-2011 12:38 PM

Hi im 26yrs old and a mother of 2 young children youngest being 3yrs old... But the problem is i havent got a Sex Drive and my Boyfriend has got a Very Very High Sex Drive (to high) mine is so low that it wouldnt bother me if i never had sex again ive been to the doctors and asked there advice but they just said its because ive got 2 children and because im tired but im not tired all the time.... Please can someone help me????

**jns** · 08-13-2011 01:04 PM

How often does your bf try to initiate sex. Was his drive always so high? Was yours always so low? How was your sex drive when you two were first together? Being tired because of the kids can lower your sex drive but should not eliminate it. Was your sex drive low after the first child? How was it when you conceived the second time? Are you on any medications? Does anything turn you on sexually?

**WildChild** · 08-13-2011 03:58 PM

Step one) Get and read Mama Gena's, School of Womanly Arts. You need to learn how to keep it juicy and remember what a delicious, sexy woman you are.

**Seeker_Advice** · 08-13-2011 04:45 PM

WC - Is that book title in the 'listing of books' ?

**kjl** · 08-18-2011 12:25 PM

JNS...... It was quiet low before we got together but it has just gone lower & lower and as for my boyfriend he tries all the time, yea his was always High, i cant say what turns me on but i do like to start slow kissing etc.... but my BF just wants to go right to it... And no im not on any medication...

Thank you WC ill give it ago...

**Beautiful Disaster** · 08-18-2011 12:45 PM

You are on Depo, correct? That is a medication.

A hormonal medication that CAN and often DOES impact sex drive.

What a burden you must be feeling right now. Two children, so trying not to get pregnant again. DVT which makes ANY hormonal bc very very risky for you. Worries about your health. And you're the one bearing all the burden of birth control. NO wonder you have no libido. When I was on hormonal bc I felt exactly like you described, no desire whatsoever and didn't think I'd ever have it again. Went off and wa-la...good ole libido came back in full force. If your partner isn't willing to consider a vasectomy and help you bear some of this burden, perhaps you should consider getting off hormonal bc totally, using something like a diaphragm in combination with condoms.

**jns** · 08-18-2011 06:09 PM

Originally Posted by kjl

JNS...... It was quiet low before we got together but it has just gone lower & lower and as for my boyfriend he tries all the time, yea his was always High, i cant say what turns me on but i do like to start slow kissing etc.... but my BF just wants to go right to it... And no im not on any medication...

Thank you WC ill give it ago...

kjl, you and your bf have different approaches to getting ready for making love. He not getting you in the mood probably adds to the reasons why your libido is low. Does he know that his actions turn you off?

**LanaBear** · 08-18-2011 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by Beautiful Disaster

You are on Depo, correct? That is a medication.

A hormonal medication that CAN and often DOES impact sex drive.

What a burden you must be feeling right now. Two children, so trying not to get pregnant again. DVT which makes ANY hormonal bc very very risky for you. Worries about your health. And you're the one bearing all the burden of birth control. NO wonder you have no libido. When I was on hormonal bc I felt exactly like you described, no desire whatsoever and didn't think I'd ever have it again. Went off and wa-la...good ole libido came back in full force. If your partner isn't willing to consider a vasectomy and help you bear some of this burden, perhaps you should consider getting off hormonal bc totally, using something like a diaphragm in combination with condoms.

I completely agree with BD here. Same thing happened with me. If you can, get yourself off of hormonal BC for a time. Let your body get back to normal and see if you notice any difference. I'm guessing you will.

**kjl** · 08-20-2011 09:26 AM

Thank you all and BD no he wouldnt have a vasectomy as i have asked him but he wont do it so as u can see im at a loss and head is all over the place i am going to speak to another doctor and see what they have to say other then that i dont know what to do to much on my shoulders to think about.... But Thank you all for you Help & Advice

X

**oxy-moron** · 08-20-2011 02:35 PM

Hi
Try have some Daily fish oil capsules- this will help restore the Omega3 Fats to your brain that will have been taken by the babies when you were pregnant.
If his style ( Or lack of style) is to get straight into it then you will not get the hormone Oxytocin generated to keep you interested in sex.
To generate it you need to get into slow massage sessions with him. Focus on building up skin to skin contact. You should do this regularly- as regularly as you can. Hand holding cuddling and casual touch will all help. Once your Oxytocin levels are higher you will become more interested.