i need help! i think ive hit my sexual peak but cant get sex!

**needadvice** · 08-14-2011 02:02 PM

So I am 27 years old and have always had a healthy sexual appetite. But over the past year it has been in overdrive. I want it day and night. I am in aserious relationship. We have been together for almost 4 years. He is 14 years older than me. So I was 23 and he was 37 when we first started seeing eachother. we had worked together for a short amount of time and he would drive me home and wed talk a lot and became friendsa and then I started to have feelings for him. We had sex as soon as we started seeing eachother and it was amazing! He is so awesome in bed and very "giving". We moved in together after a month and we had sex at least twice a day and some days hed stop home from work for a quickie. I know things don't stay the same as they are in the beginning and of course our sex life slowed down some but the past year its been really slow. He is now 41 and I read that after 30 a mans sex drive decreases by 2% every year. We have had sex 9 time ina year! I know you're thinking maybe he's getting it somewhere else but I'm 100% sure that's not happening. He goes to work and is home. He doesn't go out partying and he doesn't drink. Were always together. I need sex constantly and he just is never in the mood! Ot drives me crazy. I don't know what to do. When we do have sex its still as amazing as it was when we first did it but he just never wants it as much as me. I was never one to masturbate but now I'm doing it at least once a day. Either by watchin porn or mostly thinking of him and the amazing sex we have. I have sex dreams constantly! They are always about him! I have no desire to be with anyone else. He is so sexy and satisfying to me....when he wants to give it uop! I just don't know what to do. I fEel like less of a woman. I mean ima young pretty voluptious girl why can't I get sex? And mastubating makes me feel good the moment and then afterwards I feel sad because I want to fEel him. What can I do?! Is there something I can sneak into his coffee in the morning?!?!

**Hopeless Dork** · 08-14-2011 02:18 PM

Maybe talk to him about wanting to feel close to him more often... if he is tired or isn't physically capable of performing as often as you'd want... maybe you can ask him to pleasure you, or to kiss and touch you while you pleasure yourself so that you can still feel that intimacy when you orgasm. The pleasure may not be as heightened as when he is actually having sex with you... but you wouldn't have to feel that sense of lonliness and emptiness after orgasm that you do when you masturbate alone if he is right there to hold you and kiss you after.

A lot of men his age still have a high sex drive, it just depends on the man, his overall health etc... try encouraging exercise for the both of you (so that your not just telling HIM to go work out) but that would get his blood flowing and making him likely start feeling more strong and sexual. Also eating healthier together... and trying some new things, keeping him on his toes as far as when you want it and how you want it. That may shake up some extra desires that he didn't know he had in him.

**ska1331** · 08-15-2011 05:19 AM

One of the reasons why men's sex drive drops is due to testosterone levels decreasing. This naturally happens in most men. Exercise and diet do play a role and by increased exercise and healthy diet you can get some of this back. You can also try a supliment called Tribulis. Its an herb know to boost men's testosterone levels. It can be found at most health food and vitamin stores. I personnaly have used it and its like being 17 again. That and mixing up your bedroom routine might be able to turn it around for you.

**jns** · 08-15-2011 12:17 PM

Have you had him medically checked out for problems? Does he take any medications?

Have you changed much in the last 4 years? Has he?

**needadvice** · 08-15-2011 02:40 PM

Thank you for the advice. I did see tribulus on a google search and hearing that it worked makes me really want to go out and buy some. I have changed some physically. I have lost about 15 lbs. I am curvy still tho which is what he likesz. Its hard to introduce new things into the bedroom because he can be somewhat old fashioned. He doesn't really like me to give him oral sex because to him its disrespectful to me. Of course there's lots of stress. We own a business and things are tight. We ar e getting by but he is so used to having lots of money. He is somewhat sensitive to that. For me its like nothing kills my desire for sex! When we do have sex there are no issues. I mean he's not impotent or anything like that. But I mean he very rarely initiates it and even when I initiate sex he's rarely in the mood. I mean he used to wake me up in the middle of the night least 2x a week. And we have the most amazing sex when we do have it. I just need more of it. Lol

**jns** · 08-15-2011 03:41 PM

Probably a lot of his sex drive is tied up in how well the business is doing and worrying about it isn't helping. Then, with his narrow definition of sex, there aren't as many avenues for him to get turned on by.

Have you sat down with him to have a really good heart-to-heart? The talk? Have you laid out the scenario as you see it and gotten input from him as to why he is no longer taking care of business (so to say)? Let him know that even though there is not the money there was before, you still love and adore him. Come up with some answers together and require that the deal be signed by having sex. An oh, yeah, tell him there is nothing disrespectful about you giving him oral and he giving you oral.