having trouble staying hard during sex

**sally sally** · 08-16-2011 01:08 AM

My fiance has started to have trouble staying hard during sex , we have been together 7 years and been having amazing sex for all that time then in the last few months it happened once and now he thinks its always going to happen so it dose . what can i do if we have oral sex he is fine , he gets hard ons when hes sleeping , he dosent smoke hardly drinks , he is 41 years old . I dont want to push the subject with him because i know its really hard for him , but i am worried could it be something serious shoulld he see a doctor , or is it just all in his head .

**jns** · 08-16-2011 10:37 PM

It sounds like it is a mental block. He has to relearn how to relax. Try having sex without any pressure for him to to climax, but to just play around. When he starts going soft, go back to foreplay. Probably he doing foreplay on you will give you pleasure and at the same time allow him to recharge in a non pressured situation. Do this for several cycles if needed. Use music, scents and lighting to make the mood and to distract him. Never act disappointed and try to project confidence. Too much mothering will not work in such a situation as it will have him dwell on things not going well. Do not fall back on giving him oral: let the the sexual tension rise and fall without relief until he can complete having sex with you.

**SoCoKen** · 08-17-2011 06:51 PM

Pick up some yohimbe extract. You can buy it at GNC in pill form, and it gives a stronger erection and sexual energy. If the natural extract itself doesnt work, the placebo effect might counteract his own mental blocks. After using it a few times, he might be good to go on his own.

**ItsASecret** · 08-17-2011 07:08 PM

Pick up some yohimbe extract.

Prescriptions of yohimbe was stopped years ago because of massive cardiac issues in patients who took it because the label said "all natural". It can basically make your heart literally explode due the massive increase in blood pressure, and it happens without warning. It has also caused neurotoxicity and other toxic effects. I do not think any doctor advises a patient to use the extract anymore unless they are potentially willing to be sued.

**jns** · 08-17-2011 08:54 PM

Originally Posted by ItsASecret

Prescriptions of yohimbe was stopped years ago because of massive cardiac issues in patients who took it because the label said "all natural". It can basically make your heart literally explode due the massive increase in blood pressure, and it happens without warning. It has also caused neurotoxicity and other toxic effects. I do not think any doctor advises a patient to use the extract anymore unless they are potentially willing to be sued.

All things listed as a herbal supplement have to be investigated before use. There is no need to go to supplements, over-the-counter medications or prescriptions if the solution does not require them.

**ItsASecret** · 08-17-2011 09:02 PM

All things listed as a herbal supplement have to be investigated before use. There is no need to go to supplements, over-the-counter medications or prescriptions if the solution does not require them.

Absolutely agree, there is no need if it is not required. And if a person wishes to use a medical method they really need to be aware of things like prescription Viagra over some herb a person reads on the internet. Education (not blogs or personal created websites) is paramount especially when it comes to unapproved herbal medications with dangerous side effects.