I've never had an orgasm! Help!

**sendmetothemoon** · 08-24-2011 03:15 PM

I'm seventeen and I've never had an orgasm, ever.
I've been masturbating since I was about fourteen and I've been having sex with my boyfriend for the last 6 months.
When I have sex with him, it feels amazing- but never this 'over the top' feeling that you hear when people talk about orgasm. Whenever he tries to finger me, or even just play with my clit.. the feeling is so intense.. I freak out and make him stop.
When I masturbate, i play with my clit, but once my body starts clenching and contracting.. I stop myself from going any further.

I personally believe this might be a psychological issue. I'm afraid to let go.. and lose control. I'll try to calm myself down and relax.. but still.. the feeling is so intense- and it almost scares me. My boyfriend is incredibly understanding.. and just wants to make me feel good. And I want to make him feel good by letting him know that he got me to the peak.

Please, someone help me. How do I let go and lose control?

**Beautiful Disaster** · 08-24-2011 03:41 PM

It takes time. It takes not only getting comfortable with your partner but getting comfortable with yourself. I didn't have a gspot orgasm until I was in my 20's or right around that and that was with a long term partner that I ended up with for 5 years. I'd say we had been together around 1-2 before I actually experienced a gspot orgasm. Clitoral orgasm never felt NEAR as intense to me. I could take it or leave it when it comes to that. I get to that "please stop" feeling with clitoral stimulation too, but it's because there are SO many nerves there. That doesn't always mean you're going to have an orgasm.

Try not to focus so much on the orgasm. Focus on the experience and focus on getting truly comfortable with yourself. Focus less on your clit and more on your gspot.

**jns** · 08-24-2011 07:36 PM

Originally Posted by sendmetothemoon

I'm seventeen and I've never had an orgasm, ever.
I've been masturbating since I was about fourteen and I've been having sex with my boyfriend for the last 6 months.
When I have sex with him, it feels amazing- but never this 'over the top' feeling that you hear when people talk about orgasm. Whenever he tries to finger me, or even just play with my clit.. the feeling is so intense.. I freak out and make him stop.
When I masturbate, i play with my clit, but once my body starts clenching and contracting.. I stop myself from going any further.

I personally believe this might be a psychological issue. I'm afraid to let go.. and lose control. I'll try to calm myself down and relax.. but still.. the feeling is so intense- and it almost scares me. My boyfriend is incredibly understanding.. and just wants to make me feel good. And I want to make him feel good by letting him know that he got me to the peak.

Please, someone help me. How do I let go and lose control?

Your bf may be going at it too directly. He should be stimulating your clitoris through the clitoral hood. With a light touch he should be able to feel the bump of the clitoris through the hood. Then he needs to rub or gently squeeze that area, judging how much stimulation you are getting. As the clitoris becomes engorged, it may stick out from under its hood. He should not contact it directly, rather continuing rub or gently squeeze a little way back from where it is sticking out. It will also help to slow down for a few minutes after going faster for a few minutes. Repeat that pattern to bring you over the edge. You do have to relax. Try to distract yourself by thinking of a romantic scene in a movie.

**nattynoona** · 08-25-2011 04:24 AM

practise alone first. Till you get comfortable enough to 'let go'.
It's always handy to have a bottle of lube handy.
I find when i get to the 'omg that feels well intense' feeling, I ease off a little, and then get back to the intense feeling, continue until a wave of euphoria washes over you, often the build up is noticed by a warm feeling in your vagina followed by tingling and contracting. Once you get 'just over that peak' you will only keep wanting to carry on what you're doing until you have a fully blown orgasm.