Do you think my husband would cheat on me cuz we were each others first?

**newmommy532011** · 08-24-2011 06:39 PM

Me and some of my friends were talking about when we lost our virginities. I lost my virginity when I was 16 to my husband, my husband was 18. My friends make fun of me cuz I've only been with one man and he's only been with me. Why is that so bad? They say I am missing out on experience. Well what if I'm ok with that? Why do people have a problem with me being with one man? They also say that my husband probably cheats on me cuz he is a man and men want to explore new things. Do you think he would do that to me?

**Crystalblue** · 08-24-2011 08:34 PM

The only person I've been with is my husband, and I've never felt the need to cheat. I'll bet you'll find there are lots of couples who weren't each others firsts, and there was still cheating. I think it just depends on the individual and the relationship. There are loyal men and there are cheaters.

I've had lots of surprised responses when I tell people he was my first and only, but I've never had anyone make me feel like it was a bad thing. Is that the only reason you're worried? Because if it is, just shut it out. If you were lucky enough to find "the one" on y'all first try, you're ahead of the game. Lol

If you think y'all would enjoy experimenting, experiment with each other. You don't have to be with someone new to try something new.

**newmommy532011** · 08-24-2011 08:37 PM

Good point. Thank you. They just make fun of me and say that I am crazy. But I know my husband he is the greatest person I have ever met. He is my best friend. I can't imagine being with anyone else. I trust him and he trust me. :-) Thanks for the great advice!

**-Kya-** · 08-25-2011 03:48 AM

if im honest, I wouldnt exactly be calling them your friends if they make fun over you in that respect, and also making you paranoid over trusting your husband. Id soon be telling them where to go if they were mine.

Yeah you are both each others firsts, but that doesnt mean that he will want to go off expereimenting with other women, when he can expereiment with the one he loves -you!

We don't know your husband - do YOU think he would cheat on you? has he done anything in your relationship that would make you feel like he would cheat on you?

**Little** · 08-25-2011 08:46 AM

It seems, based on some minor details you've told us, that your friends are not the greatest friends. Are they the ones who make fun of you for crying after sex too? Are any of them happily in love? Have kids? Because they sure sound jealous.
They also sound like they have an archaic and unhealthy view of the male gender and what men do. Frankly, "all men" don't do anything. SOME men may cheat for variety. But as Kya said, you know your husband! If he loves you and believes in monogamy, he shouldn't have any trouble keeping it in his pants, regardless of his number of previous partners!

As one Stay at Home Mom to another, I know how hard this will be, but for your sanity: find some new friends!

**newmommy532011** · 08-25-2011 12:32 PM

Thank you guys! :-) They aren't married or have kids. They are the type to sleep around and party. I never really like doing that. I know my husband and I know he would never do that to me. A lot of people say "All men cheat..." to me I think that they want to believe that and don't want to believe that my husband is a good man. He works hard to keep food on the table, clothes on our backs and a roof over our head...I don't get to see him often, which is sometimes a problem since he only has one day off, and sometimes he we have plans on that day with his family or mine. He gets out at 7 and is home by 8 and I know he would never cheat on me. I wouldn't do that to him and he wouldn't do that to me. I found a great man. He is one of the "good" guys. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me (well my son too lol) I know him and he knows me. Yea we have some problems in our marriage, but normal married couples do. I am happy the way we are. If we are having problems with something, we do the adult thing and talk about it. Sometimes we talk about "what it would be like to be with someone else" but I can't ever imagine me being with someone else. Same with him. He has never done anything to make me think he was cheating. I just got scared. You know when someone keeps saying something to you, it gets stuck in your head. My husband doesn't like them because every time I come home from hanging out with them I always end up questioning him and he gets upset that I would. Maybe I should get new friends. Thanks for your support and help.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-25-2011 03:07 PM

You have to really hear what they are saying to you

"Darn, I lost my virginity to some guy, I didn't know or had a crush on and thought he liked me, and I've slept with like 10 guys already, I wish I had kept my virginity and married someone who loved me, I so hate newmommy for that, I'm jealous"...

The ladies are right, in my opinion, the girls are trying to ruin what you have, make you ponder, worry, wonder why should you have a good life? They can't

New friends time

Also? If you talk to them about your sex life? They also may 1) be jealous hearing how you are in love and it's good, and more importantly one person and he's still with you, and 2) may want him to cheat with them

So be very careful of what you tell people.. Girls who don't give a darn, will tempt fate and try...

CW

**mbgirl** · 08-25-2011 03:40 PM

I think if your man is happy, then he won't want to cheat! And it sounds like he is

Also, as others have pointed out, if experimenting is wanted, use each other! I think you sound like a healthy, happy couple! Your friends, not so much.

**Seeker_Advice** · 08-25-2011 03:53 PM

"Friends" don't say the types of things to each other that your "friends" are saying to you.

Like so many others have said, experiment with your husband and find new "friends".

BTW - how many of your "friends" are as happily married as you appear to be?

**stressed** · 08-25-2011 04:16 PM

These women can't be classified as your friends, it's better if you approach them as acquaintances, not bring their words back home and not let them poison your mind. You know your husband, while they don't even have husbands themselves. They give you opinions of gossip magazines and b-rated tv shows (which can be okay to laugh at some times, but never to take seriously). I know couples that have been each other's first and married for 40+ years and they say what has been said in this thread: that one can easily experiment with the spouse, there's no need to experiment with anyone else.

It may not be everyone's choice (just like not all men cheat), but if it works for you and him then it's nobody's business and it certainly works for many people like you and your husband. Cheating is not embedded in men's genes and experimenting varies for people.