Thread: Professional told me to stop looking at porn?

JNS-I guess it's the idea of looking at different people having sex. I don't know if this is bad to say, but I prefer looking at groups or other women. I'm attracted to men when it comes to relationships, but I'm not sure why I prefer to look at women in porn.

My sex drive has been embarrasingly low without the porn. As great as it is having a normal relationship, it does feel "unfamiliar". I don't want to give up the relationship, but I wish my high sex drive would come back. As I write this, I probably was using the porn to get me charged up. My therapist asked me "What else gets you in the mood?" I went blank and said I don't know.

I think the main way to get through this is to try to enjoy the joys of a normal relationship-kissing, holding hands, kind gestures, etc.

Originally Posted by PaneraBread

I just remembered that my therapist said that someone who doesn't have my history would be okay with looking at porn. But, with my history, she felt it was wise to take a step back from it.

Some people will be uncomfortable reading this, but I'm okay talking about it. I don't talk about it, because I don't want to make other people uncomfortable.

I was sexually abused as a child, and porn was introduced to groom me. There's no doubt that all of this has led to a very distorted view on sex. There's a reason why porn is only for adults and not minors. A 12 year old girl isn't psychologically prepared to deal with looking at 3-somes, lesbian sex, etc.

I'm trying very hard to regain a sense of healthy intimacy, love and feeling connected with my partner. This is the first healthy relationship I've been in, as my past relationships were with men that were similar to my sexual abuser.

You have no idea how what you say bothers me....why in the world children are not protected....

It turns out my relationship isn't as healthy as I thought it was. I will make a post about it another thread.

I bumped up this thread only to comment that porn wasn't the problem. There were obvious relationship problems and doubts that were hampering the sex drive. Now that I'm single, my sex drive is really high and I haven't looked at porn ever since I made this thread.

I think its time to find a different therapist. Anybody who is against porn, cannot help you whether you have a problem or not. If you were an alcoholic and your therapist told you alcohol is a terrible substance, even if its a glass of wine with friends at dinner, for anybody, you would think that person was a quack. Same here.