Thread: Professional told me to stop looking at porn?

For me looking at porn is a good prelude to having sex with my husband. It gets me worked up and ready for action. We both enjoy porn quite a bit and sometimes we even look at it together. If any therapist ever told me to stop looking at porn, I'd tell her to go fly a kite.

Hi stressed,

Yes, I have enjoyed sex and masturbation without porn and have gotten aroused without it. But let's say I come from home work and am not easily aroused. My first resort is to turn to porn. More often than not, I have used it before sex. My boyfriend sometimes say he doesn't care, but I think he does on the inside. I definitely don't want to make him feel that way. I want him to know that I do find him very sexually attractive. Maybe the porn just adds more excitement and fun for me.

PenarBread, don't worry.....watch all the porno in the world......if you don't get sad or upset (remember porn is different from real life), then there is a problem, but if not, WTF you worry so much.....just make sure you feel in control....I watch real home made porn and love it....my wife doesn't like it, but doesn't have a problem with me watching.....I like to watch our owns sex videos, but some other couples outhere are really hot, and can get you in the mood for things that otherwise, you may have not decided to do.....is all good.

I just remembered that my therapist said that someone who doesn't have my history would be okay with looking at porn. But, with my history, she felt it was wise to take a step back from it.

Some people will be uncomfortable reading this, but I'm okay talking about it. I don't talk about it, because I don't want to make other people uncomfortable.

I was sexually abused as a child, and porn was introduced to groom me. There's no doubt that all of this has led to a very distorted view on sex. There's a reason why porn is only for adults and not minors. A 12 year old girl isn't psychologically prepared to deal with looking at 3-somes, lesbian sex, etc.

I'm trying very hard to regain a sense of healthy intimacy, love and feeling connected with my partner. This is the first healthy relationship I've been in, as my past relationships were with men that were similar to my sexual abuser.

It's always best to take a doctor's advice with a grain of salt. But in this case, especially with what you said in your latest post, I have to agree with her.

Please feel free to share anything you like with us! Your abuse definitely figures into the "big picture" of your relationship with porn, sex, and even other life issues. We're here to support you. As a long-time poster, you know that if anybody gives you a hassle, we take care of it

I love your last paragraph. It's great that you have found somebody you can trust! Give your partner a chance to connect one on one with you - not two on one with you and porn.