Can you BECOME sexually unattracted to someone?

**Ashlei1026** · 08-30-2011 06:49 PM

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5ys now (marriage will come after we finish school etc.) and just recently I haven't been able to have sex with my boyfriend unless I've been drinking. For some reason everything he does in bed grosses me out and turns me off. Is it just a phase or what I mean we are a perfect couple and want to get married but this kink is stressing me out. He is totally in to it and I'm afraid he feels that I'm not and I don't want him to think its him. So I'm not sure what MY problem is.

**jns** · 08-30-2011 08:04 PM

You can become sexually unattracted to a person. What exactly is your bf doing and how do you react to it? Were you grossed out before or did he change what he is doing?

**Seeker_Advice** · 08-31-2011 09:37 AM

It doesn't sound like a You problem, it sounds more like a Him problem.

Was the physical intimacy good before he introduced kinky stuff? Or has he always been kinky and you've just grown tired of it?

Sounds to me like you need to communicate more openly and honestly about how you're feeling about the things that are going on as they pertain to your physical intimacy.

I'm no expert but it is certainly better to adress your concerns now, then later.

**Texasred** · 08-31-2011 10:29 AM

I'm not sure she said he was being "kinky," but that there was a "kink" in their relationship.
But I could be wrong - yet again! lol

Yes, you can become unattracted to someone just as you can become attracted to someone; all I can say is, thank your lucky stars it happened BEFORE you got married instead of as so often is posted here, afterward.

It *is* possible for you to recover what you once felt, but not without talking this through with your bf.
You must know that having to get drunk before you can have sex wtih someone is sure a bad sign.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 08-31-2011 02:06 PM

It's possible. I know, because it has happened to me. Sexual attraction for you is not just physical. Perhaps there are some emotional needs there that aren't being met, therefore, the sexual light switch for you remains in the "off" position, where he's concerned at least.

Do you fantasize about other guys?

**Elanor-Jane** · 08-31-2011 08:38 PM

totally possible. i think alot of people would rather deny than admit that is was what killed their relationship. falling out of love, can also and usually does, include, falling out of lust.

do u really want to marry someone you find sexually and possibly physically unattractive?

if you keep using alcohol to mask an issue your going to end up with a drinking problem