what is wrong with me?

**maramoonbeam** · 09-14-2011 01:27 AM

Ok so I have a question for you guys, and I have no idea what's wrong. I have an 17 month old son and I noticed that after I gave birth that sex was so painful to the point that i cry. Over the past year it has gotten so much worse its like Sharp pains in my stomach like my insides are being stabbed. I have been married for over two years now and this is really affecting my life, my sex life is so messed up that this problem lead my husband to cheat on me, Nd leave me for 4 months. I also noticed that during sex I pee

I can't help it or stop it, its truly humiliating. Sex to me is unbearable Anymore. Can anyone relate or give me a clue as to what might be wrong?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-14-2011 03:04 AM

Hey maramoonbeam, welcome to WH

Firstly, have you actually gone back to a Doctor and explained all of this? It is known that you can have problems after birth, with a weak bladder, I do believe that suggestions can be made there to help in that situation, I know of two women that had that problem and I appreciate it's humiliating for you.

Who do you have to support you if not your husband, through all of this?

But, honey it does not excuse your husband from cheating on you, to gain more sex does it? Is that love?

CW

**bobbychase** · 09-14-2011 03:33 AM

I agree with Chandlers, it's no excuse for cheating on you.

Something which may help with the peeing may be PC muscle exercises. This is a great exercise to tighten up your vagina, especially after child birth, and get more control of your body.

We'll start with Stop The Stream. To get started, when you are in the bathroom peeing, just try to stop your pee 5-10 times before it's all gone out of your bladder. Do this every time you pee.

Once you get more control of the ability of stopping your pee, now do the exercise during the day time, anytime you are sitting or standing, of just clenching that muscle you use to stop your pee.

You can do short bursts of 10 clenches, and then try holding for 5 seconds 5 times. You can repeat this as much as you want until you are tired but remember that muscles grow when they are resting, not when they are being worked out.

If you do these exercises, slowly you'll gain control of your bladder and make sex better which may fix other problems. Also, make sure you pee before you have sex as well, it may help with the problem in the beginning.

**LanaBear** · 09-14-2011 11:26 AM

I would definitely suggest going back to the Dr's and explain everything that is going on. You need to also start working on your kegal muscles.

However, as CW stated, this is all outside of the fact that your husband used your discomfort and pain as an excuse to cheat on you, then subsequently leave you. There is obviously not a whole lot of support there, from him anyways.