Thread: Orgasm during sex

My question is if there is a trick to an orgasm during sex. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 3 months and he has had past lovers and he said he has had no problem getting them to orgasm during sex, of which I have never had an orgasm during sex. I have one just fine with rubbing but during sex I just feel like it does not happen. I know some women just can't orgasm during sex and that it is hard for a lot but I was just wondering if anyone had any hints or tricks. Thanks

Have him read "The Woman Comes First" by Dr. Ian Kerner Ph.D

Might help to take the focus off of him, which is often the problem, and put it on you where it belongs - IMO.

You might also suggest that he "move up" once he's inside of you by trying to move his belly closer to your breasts. This will cause his pubic bone to rub on your clitoral area when thrusting...which may help too.

Most men aren't aware that the most sensitive part of any woman's vagina is near the opening of it and not all the way in the back like we incorrectly assume.

Talk to him, teach him, even show him what feels really good for you.

Comparing you to his past lovers is like comparing tennis shoes to sandles...not fair and not accurate, as both are different.

If you're not orgasming during sex, that's a HIM problem and NOT a you problem - IMO (and I am a male).

Take the focus off of him and put it on you...where it belongs...and the rest should take care of itself - IMO.

My wife was unable to orgasm from intercourse, but could from manual and oral stimulation. We incorperated manual stimulation into our intercourse and she was able to achieve orgasm this way. Now she no longer needs to be manual stimulated to achieve orgasm thru intercourse. I guess you could say we used that as a bridge to awaken her body and mind to have an orgasm through intercourse alone. It may work for you as well.

Contrary to popular belief most women have to have clitoral stimulation during sex in order to achieve orgasm during intercourse..thats just a fact..the "button" isnt there for no reason...Its like expecting the man to have an orgasm just by fondling his testicles..it makes that much sense..sure it feels great..sure he will become aroused..but he will be aching and throbbing for his penis to be in direct contact /stimulated either with a hand or intercourse or oral etc..

The whole rub it with his pubic bone?I dont even understand why even go through all that hassle..I woudl rather have a mind blowing orgasm doggie style with my husband reaching around stimulating my clitoris..or in the spooning postion(his chest to my back with my leg draped over his hip)..standing up on my tippy toes him behind me again "reaching around"..or him giving me oral stimulating my clitoris while penetrating me with a vibrator..ALL good..Not to mention me on top self stimulating..Why be all "worried " like there is somethig wrong with you because you cant have an orgasm unless your CLITORIS which is like a mini penis is involved?

Its nothing against his manhood..And either he happened to meet just coincidentally a bunch of the "exceptions" to the rules..with his other GF's..or they were faking it.Sorry..I've done it..that could be why hes now thinking something is wrong with YOU..thats why women arent doing ANYONE including themselves any favors by having fake screaming orgasms from 5 minutes of penetratin only ..Its silly..Have them the way you can..and have as many as possible is what i say..Stop trying to make it more difficult..

Even women who have achieved vaginal stimulation only orgasms dont necessarily do so frequently let alone every time..

But if you REALLY want to try..be sure to be extremely "ready for sex" and plan to take your time..including using lubricants ...such as coconut oil...slow and steady as she goes..and keep your mind open ...Its fun to try and someday it may happen..but its unfair to put that expectation on your self..and completely unrealistic for him too..someone has been lying to him I think..

Originally Posted by ska1331

My wife was unable to orgasm from intercourse, but could from manual and oral stimulation. We incorperated manual stimulation into our intercourse and she was able to achieve orgasm this way. Now she no longer needs to be manual stimulated to achieve orgasm thru intercourse. I guess you could say we used that as a bridge to awaken her body and mind to have an orgasm through intercourse alone. It may work for you as well.

The key word is "may" the other words are a woman can be as open as a 24 hour Wal-Mart and that doesnt mean she CAN nor is "supposed" to be able to achieve an orgasm through only vaginal stimulation..it is an exception not rule..and many healthy "open" orgasmic sexually uninihibited women will RARELY or even "NEVER" exprience one and that is absolutely normal.

The minute someone tells me that a guy just needs to "open up in his body and mind and achieve and then settle for an orgasm brought on by masaging his testicals..or only one little spot of his penis leaving the rest out then that will be fair..and I'll agree..a woman just needs to "open up' more..

simply, don't beat yourself up. I don't think I've ever had an orgasm simply from penetration alone. My clitoris always needed to be stimulated preferably orally vice vibrator or manually. Luckily, I was married to someone who enjoyed oral sex as much as I did, so he had no problem stimulating me until I came. As soon as I was having an orgasm, he would penetrate me. My spasms just made it much better for him, and we were able to climax simultaneously. When he wasn't ready for actual penetration, he would continue stimulating my clitoris until I climaxed for the second time.

Also, you don't know if your boyfriend's past lovers were faking. Don't feel pressured or inadequate. Does he like performing oral sex on you? If he does, then use this as your "foreplay" until you orgasm. We he penetrates you, both of you should enjoy an explosive climax. Good luck to you.