Thread: Frustrated.

Normal healthy relationship should have sex at least twice a week - is part of being human and being in love you can't help it...is a sexual attraction...if you don't have that you are not REALLY IN LOVE......I am talking if you are young...old people usually get used to have a crazy sex live.....I hope will not be my case...

Sometimes if the sex is the same, it can start to get boring and we think our drive is low when really we're just bored in the bedroom. It's amazing what a sexy little outfit can do... Try a white blouse with no bra, short skirt and pop on some stockings. It makes you feel sexier and it suddenly makes things a lot less vanilla.

You could try asking him about his fantasies, JUDGEMENT FREE, some people have some very embarrassing fantasies and just talking about what gets us hot and bothered can get us... hot and bothered.

I've had similiar problems in the past, but sometimes a little work (a chair dance, a back massage, some sexy music) can lead to a night of lovemaking that will keep you satisfied for days. Best of luck.

Originally Posted by Avitom

Sometimes if the sex is the same, it can start to get boring and we think our drive is low when really we're just bored in the bedroom. It's amazing what a sexy little outfit can do... Try a white blouse with no bra, short skirt and pop on some stockings. It makes you feel sexier and it suddenly makes things a lot less vanilla.

You could try asking him about his fantasies, JUDGEMENT FREE, some people have some very embarrassing fantasies and just talking about what gets us hot and bothered can get us... hot and bothered.


I've had similiar problems in the past, but sometimes a little work (a chair dance, a back massage, some sexy music) can lead to a night of lovemaking that will keep you satisfied for days. Best of luck.

I agree with Avitom- mix it up. Increase the amount of massage as well. This increases Oxytocin levels which should increase the desire for sex.

Oh we have trust me, we have talked about everything. He told me that sometimes he just watches porn to "do it" and get it out of the way so he can work on other things. So basically it's a human function that needs to occur for him to focus on anything else even if he doesn't want sex. It's kind of confusing but I know my spouse very well and I think I just get a little bummed out at times and tend to post on here when in a negative mood. Thanks for all your advice though, it's much appreciated!

Maybe your boyfriend is just not into the conventional. Since he likes to masterbate and watch porn, maybe he gets turned on by other stuff like watching porn when you are having sex, role playing, BDSM, etc. Have you tried exploring other areas. Also, he may have insecuries that are preventing him from opening enjoying sex with you. Talk it though.

We have talked about it a lot, The answer I always just keep getting is I'm busy or I'm not in the mood right now. Which sucks cause I can tell you I am a decent looking lady with a nice body so I'm just not sure why he's not interested. I'm not sure he's into role playing or BDSM, I am interested in trying it though I bought rope, nipple clamps, candles, wrist restraints..tons of toys but still I get NOTHING out of him. It sucks cause I really wanna try out all that stuff I bought instead of it just sitting in a drawer.