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Thread: I cant have an orgasm

  1. #1
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    Default I cant have an orgasm


    Ive been with my boyfriend for quite a long time and i always used to be able to have an orgasm while he was fingering me. But now i cant have it, even though he is fingering me for more than 30mins. Its been like this for a month now. What happened to me?

  2. #2
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    Nothing, you need to relax enough to get in the zone....try using a vibrator first for a while, also, try to look for ways to stimulate yourself...can you give yourself an orgasm?....my wife won't orgasms with my finger either, on the contrary after a while she rather feeling the real thing, but the wand vibrators is the only thing that make her orgasm without penetration y she enjoys it very much!

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    Yes, i can give myself an orgasm and it doesnt take that long. But the thing is that everything is the same so why suddenly im not able to have it?

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    ineedhelp, maybe you just need to change it up a bit. Some people can climax using the same methods. Personally, I need to change it up. I've never been that fond of fingering. Guys get too carried away and end up getting too rough. Is your bf stimulating your clitoris or penetrating you with his fingers? Maybe your bf can try using his thumb. It actually feels pretty good. Trying to remain PC, but have your bf place the back of his thumb firmly on your clitoris, and while keeping his thumb in place, have him make wide circles. As you start to enjoy it, he can make smaller circles until he's actually rubbing your clitoris. Also, as the OP stated, try using a vibrator against your clitoris. I've also never been wild for sex toys, but I will make an exception for a good old fashioned vibrator. You don't say if you and your bf indulge in oral sex. That was always a sure way for me to have an orgasm. I suggest getting on top so you can have better control. If you feel like your going to climax and don't want to so quickly, you can pull back.

  5. #5
    Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Array Texasred's Avatar
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    You can also combine Sandy's two methods: get on top AND have your bf use his thumb, but the end or "ball" of it, not the back of it.

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    Junior Member Array TYO33's Avatar
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    What other methods have you tried? Personally Fingering has never worked for me... I can only ever get there if my husband goes down on me or we use a Clitoral Vibrator, the best one is one that you can use together, during intercourse, because then you get the best of both worlds! Penetration, plus vibration on your clit! H-E-A-V-E-N. Try the newest one on the market, I just got it myself last week and it's CRAZY good! It's called FixSation Couples Vibe... Check it out! Good luck with your situation, the good news is that there is HOPE!

  7. #7
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    It could be dietary.
    You could try Magnesium supplements and Fish Oil. Cut back on sugars and refined Carbs.
    Instead of just straight fingering get him to try using the pad of his thumb on the front wall of your vagina and one or two of his fingers on your clit. Lube required.
    Give feed back on pressure and frequency.( Obviously this works best if you are on your stomach or knees)

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    It could also be medical. Certain meds lower your sex drive. Others don't but do "prevent" you from going over the edge into orgasm.

  9. #9
    jns
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    Have the relaxing and other methods helped?
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    Patrick Henry

  10. #10
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    His technique is poor and misguided.

    Sloppy, rough and ignorant, blind stupidity, won't achieve orgasm.

    A man has to be intelligent to some degree, he has to be gentle, caring and considerate.

    A person that learns through pornography will not make money.

    Because that is what pornography is - commerce.

    Its not about achieving orgasm, its about ****making**** money.

    Get it !!!???

    Does your partner really know how to give you and orgasm ?

    Does he really know what he is doing ?

    Do you know what orgasm is ?

    Do you know what feels pleasurable?

    Be honest with yourself does what he does feel pleasurable?

    Because if it doest then why are you doing whatever it is you are doing ?

    STOP doing it if its not pleasurable.

    Ask him to do to himself what he does to you.

    And ask him, does what you do to me, feel good to you?

    The feedback of his own technique on himself should feel pleausurable, if it doesnt then he needs to go back to square one.

    I mean ramming his finger brutally into his own anus rapidly does that feel pleasurable ? Be honest !!! Does it ?

    So maybe you will or he will realise something.

    That perhaps his technique is all wrong.

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