Wife is making mean comments about my size...

**bobdc** · 09-20-2011 11:20 AM

my wife has been making mean comments about the size of my "male member"

we've been married for 8 years. i thought everything was great up until now, we are good friens, we communicate and we had (i thought) good and frequent sex.

however for the past few months she keeps belittling my penis and saying i am small.

it's not like i shrunk, so i'm not sure where this is coming from. I'm so embarrassed and hurt. And I think I'm "average" and not small, but that is not the point. I don't know why she is doing this.

I am so embarrassed and hurt. What is going on?

Thanks!

**Seeker_Advice** · 09-20-2011 12:06 PM

Who knows.... As you will hear form many many women in here, size means little or nothing to them. While affection, love, trust, honesty, cuddling and actually caring about your partner and her needs are what matters the most.

Perhaps she is trying, in a very crude and hurtful manner, to get you to focus more on her and less on you? I really have no idea why she is doing what she is doing...especially after several years.

May I suggest that you read a book titled "She Comes First" by Dr. Ian Kerner Ph.D It's a great book - IMO and I suggest that all men read to learn how to put the focus where it should be first and foremost...on your partner.

As for your wife, have you thought about counseling?

**stressed** · 09-20-2011 12:15 PM

How does she tell you that? In a serious manner, sarcastically, as a joke, during specific times?

It can be due to just about anything, so it would be useful to have more information on your marriage and situation. Her behavior is odd and unreasonable, so it can be a hint about sex quality, her wanting something "different", her watching porn, or she says so to annoy you and get on your nerves, or she doesn't understand it bothers you.

**bobdc** · 09-20-2011 01:53 PM

Originally Posted by Seeker_Advice

Who knows.... As you will hear form many many women in here, size means little or nothing to them. While affection, love, trust, honesty, cuddling and actually caring about your partner and her needs are what matters the most.

Perhaps she is trying, in a very crude and hurtful manner, to get you to focus more on her and less on you? I really have no idea why she is doing what she is doing...especially after several years.

May I suggest that you read a book titled "She Comes First" by Dr. Ian Kerner Ph.D It's a great book - IMO and I suggest that all men read to learn how to put the focus where it should be first and foremost...on your partner.

As for your wife, have you thought about counseling?

thanks!! i know that book!! we always make sure she cums first! i had thought that our sex life was good. we have sex frequently (2-3 times week), she initiates often, lots and lots of oral! she has orgasms. we use toys. and she communicates what she wants. so the whole "size" thing has me thrown a bit. and i'm big enough that it should not be an issue...

**jns** · 09-20-2011 06:42 PM

Maybe she wants you to be more aggressive by taunting you. Or maybe it is nothing to do with sex, but she knows she can get under your skin by saying your small. Is she saying you are too small for her vagina, her mouth or her butt? Is she comparing you to a dildo or porn or to other guys she was with before?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-20-2011 06:55 PM

bobdc

How old are you both? This has only started occuring of late, maybe she has some women's issues she's not telling you about.

Also when were the toys introduced? And, how frequent are they a part of your sex live, verses yourself, thy member..

**mommaoftwo** · 09-20-2011 06:58 PM

Thats just wrong!! As a women I feel bad because I have smaller breast. My husband would never bring it up. Its hard to believe she would comment about it as if you dont already know. SIZE DOES NOT MATTER!! As long as done right, it doesn't matter.

**oxy-moron** · 09-20-2011 09:42 PM

You need to talk to her to find out what is at the bottom of it.
Tell her you find the comments hurtful and would like to know why she is suddenly focusing on it. She may be comparing you to porn.
It is also possible that she is trying to hurt you to compensate for some other problem of her own. You wont find out without communicating with her.

**bobdc** · 09-21-2011 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by jns

Maybe she wants you to be more aggressive by taunting you. Or maybe it is nothing to do with sex, but she knows she can get under your skin by saying your small. Is she saying you are too small for her vagina, her mouth or her butt? Is she comparing you to a dildo or porn or to other guys she was with before?

well she has gotten under my skin for sure! well not to be to graphic...for her vagina. we don't do the butt and she likes smaller for her mouth. she is comparing me to g uy she was with before. we don't watch too much porn, and our dildo is much bigger than i am.

**bobdc** · 09-21-2011 07:47 AM

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

bobdc

How old are you both? This has only started occuring of late, maybe she has some women's issues she's not telling you about.

Also when were the toys introduced? And, how frequent are they a part of your sex live, verses yourself, thy member..

we're both 40ish. toys for about 5-6 years. we have sex 2-3 nights a week. probalby one of those nights is with toys. we use toys at her request, i'd use them every time if she feels like it.