Thread: Research on penis issue

Chandlers wish, thank you so much. I can understand why this type of question is difficult for some women to address as it represents a fundamental difference in the way men and women think about sex. Men are more concrete and physical, although there ultimately is a very deep emotional aspect for the man also, whereas for women it is mostly a "soul" experience, although undoubtedly there is also a significant physical component for them as well--its just not often as well defined as for the guy. To understand why I asked what I did, consider that for a lot of women, the best physical sensation during sex is a warm wet mouth enveloping and caressing their clitoris. For men, it is penetration. This makes perfect sense when you consider that the clitoris is really a very small penis in effect. So, imagine how it feels for a guy who is good at oral to suck and caress it with his mouth and tongue. That is, I believe, exactly what a guy feels during penetration. So, it is natural that he assumes that penetration is "where its at" for you too. Not that it doesn't feel good, but it is often not the ultimate--regardless of penis size. Now, when a guy hears that penises feel differently, due to conditioning by media/society, he automatically assumes the bigger one is infinitely more awesome than his. To complete the illogical thought process, now he is devastated because he assumes penetration is for you the same sensation as it is for him. So, he concludes he is inadequate to provide the ultimate sensation in sex for you. Can you see the errors in nuance that lead most guys to this erroneous conclusion? Couple that with a few women who, I believe, have never experienced a truly good lover that they had chemistry with and thus these women gravitate to the idea that the fuller stretch feeling of a bigger penis is the ultimate sensation sex can provide. These women reinforce to these guys that, yes, an average guy is lacking in his ability to give mind blowing sex. I feel if I can fully develop these ideas and learn to translate male and female sex languages (which are very different) for each other, I can help some folks out. Thus, if we can quantify (for the male brain) your concept of penetration pleasure level, I think we can show that for even average sized penises, the sensation most women feel is not 0-1 like most guys have in the back of their minds, but more like 6-10. This will short circuit their thought that bigger is better translates to average is "nothing" and that the differences are not that great, if at all. Maybe this will open their minds to the concept that penetration is often not "where its at" for women like it is for men. Anyone agree or disagree?

Wow, Im nervous just adding to this post ;-)
It would indeed be reassuring to hear that women dont care about size and "average" can give explosive orgasms. Women will say its not about size or even what you do with it that counts but the emotional\romantic side, building the tension and atmosphere between 2 people, but why then do women seem to be wowed by big guys (generally not just with his trousers off) and get flushed with excitement if they are faced with a hunky guy (sorry if this is slightly off topic but its related)?
My wife has shown recent interest in vibrators and Ive researched feedback left by women on sex toy web sites about many different toys and although there are some comments (some left by the women's other halfs) that they were pleased to finally buy a smaller vibrator, most RAVE about how big it was and it gave out endless earth-shattering orgasms (complaining that they had to keep replacing the batteries ;-). Go figure. Dont believe me, then google sex toys and read the feedback yourself.

Tod121, don't be nervous, that is what kills intelligent constructive conversation regarding sex in general. That is one reason I came to women's health, to try to open up honest intelligent discussion to help us guys out--NOT to rehash the same old tired is bigger better question--that's been done to death. Now, to your points. First, your focus on explosive orgasms is tainted by porn images of women faking massive orgasms with enormous penises. This abnormal image is also enhanced by anonymous people online who love to mess with people and write all kinds of inaccurate mess. For most women, explosive orgasms must involve clitoral stimulation which even huge penises don't do. So, a combined technique with insertional as well as direct clitoral stimulation, especially done in the correct manner, will give most women the best orgasms. This process may or may not involve a penis at all and even if it does the size of the penis is largely irrelevant--actually some women admit that a large penis can detract from the clitoral stimulation and make it more difficult to orgasm.
Next, women are wowed by a large or hunky guy just as men are wowed by a hot body or nice breasts, etc. Anything that sets someone apart from the norm is instinctively going to garner more attention--its just natural. The error is thinking that this response translates to "that guy can rock my world better than any average guy ever could". This may or may not be true but it would have more to do with his skills than with his initial "hotness" appeal. How many hot women have turned a man off immediately after a couple of minutes of conversation? More than we would admit.
Now, on the vibrators. Several pitfalls here. First, you are going by anonymous comments which could just as easily be the staff of the vibrator company leaving comments to increase sales or perverted men who get off on leaving such comments. Even if some are true, there are two considerations. First, for every woman who raves about size, there are 10 who wouldn't care for it. Secondly, a vibrator is very different than a penis in so many ways. Unless you have a large penis that you can gently insert then hold still while it vibrates at 3,000 rpm, you cannot compare the two. Pressure with vibration gives a different experience than a real man thrusting and grinding away. Try thrusting and grinding with a large vibrator and the reviews may not be so great. So, unless you agree that a latex vagina--which does feel pleasurable--is a reason for all women to sew their vaginas up and quit having sex, I think it is erroneous to also conclude that since a vibrator of any kind is pleasurable to the woman that men of a certain penis size should forget about sex.

To the ladies, guys who read this notice no women will answer honestly/at all. What message does this send to guys? Most will think you're hiding the truth. Its an important question. Why no good participation?