Help with FWB
Ok I am new to blogging and being friends with benefits but I hope this is'nt how it seems. I am now currently 19 and have been having sex with someone 12 years older than me. Wrong I know but trouble is when we first started having sex he was more understanding and now he seems indifferent to me. I am not asking for a relationship I just want to know what I did to make him this uncaring?
That's the thing with an FWB situation... the understanding is it's just sex, no emotional involvement. As soon as emotions come into play, it becomes a problem. Yes, the "F" stands for "friends", meaning there is some level of friendship between the two of you, along with the sex, but it ends there.
What exactly do you mean by "indifferent"? Is he treating you as more like an acquaintance than a friend? Are you perhaps expecting something more than there should be between FWB's? That's not uncommon... it's much easier for men to separate sex from emotions than it is for women. I think you need to take a step back and ask yourself why this is bothering you. If you're starting to want something more, then you need to bring this up. If it's not what he wants, then it's time to end it. An FWB situation isn't meant to last.
How can you see where you're going if you spend your whole life looking over your shoulder? –Naughty Ninja
There's nothing wrong with you sleeping with a guy who's that much older. When I was 20/21 I was sleeping with a guy who was 14 years older than me, and another that was 22 years older than me...
Keeping a FWB relationship is hard, I know I managed to keep three of them lol. You have to become friends first, and then slowly introduce the sex and set down the ground rules before sex is involved. No emotional attachment other than being worried or caring as a FRIEND. No love. Unless ya'll end up both feeling that way lol. Me and my hubby were buddies (only met up for sex) but we started liking each other, and now we've been married for 14 months, and been a couple since May 2010.
It sounds like he is definitely taking the more casual approach in the FWB relationship the two of you have got going on.
Bottom line though, nobody but him can tell you what you did. So, if you want to know that bad, you are going to have to ask him. Keep in mind though, that this is casual sex, so, you shouldn't allow yourself to get that involved if it wasn't what was agreed upon.
Friendship Prayer
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Amen
Whoever said anything was possible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
See I don't want more and he don't want more we agreed in the begining to not let it become more. It is just he was more into hugging and kissing in the begining then all of a sudden he stoped it was like he fliped a switch and became unfeeling.
maybe he started getting feelings for you and decided that would be the best route.... maybe he doesn't want to freak you out. I still say talk to him about it.
Ok thanks.
For me personally, I've never eally been good at an FWB situation. I know guys are supposed to be able to seperate sex and emotions, but I've never been able to do that really well. If I become sexually involved with someone I begin to care deeply for them, or as in the case of my wife and I, I already cared. Kissing as well is an emotional thing. I can't kiss with out that emotional involvement. Its just one of those things with me that is straight from the heart. If I were to guess, he may be somewhat like me. He may be pulling back to either respect your wishes for nothing more or he's afraid of becoming too attatched to you.
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