Need orgasm advice!

**cepmdw36** · 10-11-2011 09:04 PM

Hi,

My partner and I have been having sex for about 6 months now. The sex has been nothing short of great! All aspects have been pleasureable to both of us. However, just one problem, I can't orgasm.

I have never had an orgasm before so I really don't know what to expect. My first question is about clitoral stimulation. I have tried several methods of clitoral stimulation but none seem to really work. Is it possible that I have an inactive clit?

During sex, I feel a ton of pleasure and several times during, I feel pressure build up, but I can never quite cross that peak.

What are some suggestions for my partner and I to try in order to hopefully experience the "big o?"

**Mes T** · 10-11-2011 11:03 PM

First of all you have to learn to do this on your own, without your partner. Then once you can do it yourself, you can teach your partner to do it. It would take close to a miracle for another person to give a woman her first orgasm, in my opinion.

Buy a vibrator, a naughty book, an erotic video, and lock yourself in your bedroom. Think of things that arouse you. Get a feel for your body. Try stimulating your clitoris in different ways as well as other parts of your vagina. We've all got different levels of sensitivity in different places.

**lenchez** · 10-12-2011 01:11 PM

I rarely get them either, but I've read online that some people just never get them.

Sometimes I THINK I get 'em, [that pleasure build up] but that's about it. They say if you want an orgasm, have your partner give you head before sex. But who knows.

**sp346** · 10-13-2011 08:09 PM

I keep mentioning this, the way the clitoris is shaped, only about 30% of women get orgasms from vaginal penetration. You can add some hand or vibrator action while your partner is inside you. Also oral can get it going. On average, most women don't learn to orgasm until a year of practicing. Its normal, so don't think you are not getting it right. Just takes some practice and exploring.

Also, orgasms are different for each person. Way books and movies make it sound where there is fireworks at the end is not the case for everybody. For me, I reach a peak, can stay there a few minutes and slowly come down, or sometimes go into another orgasm. There isn't a huge release where I screem my partner's name and its over.

As long as its all feeling good, then you are doing fine.

**jns** · 10-23-2011 11:01 AM

Originally Posted by cepmdw36

Hi,

My partner and I have been having sex for about 6 months now. The sex has been nothing short of great! All aspects have been pleasureable to both of us. However, just one problem, I can't orgasm.

I have never had an orgasm before so I really don't know what to expect. My first question is about clitoral stimulation. I have tried several methods of clitoral stimulation but none seem to really work. Is it possible that I have an inactive clit?

During sex, I feel a ton of pleasure and several times during, I feel pressure build up, but I can never quite cross that peak.

What are some suggestions for my partner and I to try in order to hopefully experience the "big o?"

Try not to focus directly on getting an orgasm, but rather on what is pleasurable. Also try to relax, but you may need to tense up just before orgasm.

What have you done for clitoral stimulation? Has any of it been pleasurable? Generally use squeezing, rubbing or circular motion on the clitoral hood near the end where the engorged clitoris will stick out of. Have you felt your clitoris engorge and get rigid?

Think of things that you have felt aroused about. A scene in a movie. Some pictures. What type of music. A scent in the air. A location. A flavor. The feel of a texture on your skin. Warmth or coolness. Weight of covers in bed. Try to set up things so as many of the arousal items are present as possible. Then let yourself go. Don't try to direct things very much.