Thread: Orgasm help please

Ok so im 20 years old, and i have a very high sex drive i could have sex 3 times a day everyday, well lately i cant orgasm. I want to have sex im into it, it feels amazing, we do foreplay and oral, but when we have sex no matter how good it feels i cant orgasm, its like its right there but it wont come out i dont understand. I just want to have an orgasm thats it, i dont usually have this problem ive had it a few times before but i just dont know what to do. I can orgasm if i do it myself(masturbate). It kinda suck too because my boyfriend had to get surgery on his he had to get a piece of skin cut off that was preventing him from having a full erection, well hes fine now healed up and everything, but we cant have sex as much as we used to because it hurts him.So i have this insane sex drive but i cant do much about it. And im into somewhat rough sex and he cant really do that either cuz it hurts. So alls i wanan do is have an orgasm but i cant its driving me crazy i feel like an animal in heat right so if anyone could please help with either sex or doing it myself anything lol

I know what you mean!! My boyfriend ripped part of his skin off from shower sex so we couldn't do it for a while and it hurt him. The best thing is to wait till he's completely healed. :| Go do fun stuff in the mean time. (:

lenchez thanks for the tip.

I would only add that she may need a vibrator to help her getting it off.....when I use it on my wife, she gets really arouse and get mild orgasms....until is my turn....she says now that her orgasms are very long and intense.....she is loving it.....but took a long time and a lot of getting to know each other....good luck!

Originally Posted by babiigurll249

Ok so im 20 years old, and i have a very high sex drive i could have sex 3 times a day everyday, well lately i cant orgasm. I want to have sex im into it, it feels amazing, we do foreplay and oral, but when we have sex no matter how good it feels i cant orgasm, its like its right there but it wont come out i dont understand. I just want to have an orgasm thats it, i dont usually have this problem ive had it a few times before but i just dont know what to do. I can orgasm if i do it myself(masturbate). It kinda suck too because my boyfriend had to get surgery on his he had to get a piece of skin cut off that was preventing him from having a full erection, well hes fine now healed up and everything, but we cant have sex as much as we used to because it hurts him.So i have this insane sex drive but i cant do much about it. And im into somewhat rough sex and he cant really do that either cuz it hurts. So alls i wanan do is have an orgasm but i cant its driving me crazy i feel like an animal in heat right so if anyone could please help with either sex or doing it myself anything lol

Here's my guess, because I've seen this before. As you get closer to orgasm your mind starts jumping in saying "ok, this is where I have trouble." and as a cruel self fulfilling prophecy, having your mind distracted and looking at things rationally is throwing you off course with anxiety.

If this is the case, try this: INSTEAD of feeling that distraction show up, start off saying to yourself something like the following:

"I'm going to do this JUST to notice that this is going to happen. It'll happen so I look forward to watching it carefully. No big deal, it'll be neat to actually see this thing without anxiety."

(or words to that effect). What you'll end up doing is end up taking yourself OUT of the helpless "oh dangit!" state and put you right to the side as an observer. It'll take the teeth right out of this thing, and just by knowing that it cannot phase you, it will subside.

If this makes it worse, then what you most likely did was feel anxious about the build up all over again. DON'T. Relax and LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING IT. There's no point in fearing a bomb that has already gone off. No anxiety. Make it your job to see that last minute bit of anxiety. When you do, it will no longer have any effect----it has no victim to affect.

Thanks guys i really appreciate i am definitely going to talk to my boyfriend about the vibrator and im gunna have to try that position it seems very intense i just hope he enjoys it as much as i will.... and thanks GOODGUY i understand what your saying ill have to try that too and see if it works thanks again everyone any more advice is appreciated

Just be aware that the way the clitoris is shaped, 70% of women cannot orgasm from vaginal penetration along. Add some hand action (you or you bf's) while your bf is inside of you. That should do the trick.

I agree with the above. So you've never had an orgasm through masterbation? You definetly have to figure out how to please yourself first. It took me a year to have an orgasm with my husband. It really has everthing to do with your mind. I always have them now. My trick is I think about something that turns me on so much and I play that in my head when im about to cum. Sorry gazing in his eyes does nothing for me

If you are into some rought sex and your boyfriend can't do many of things you want to do right now, don't count out toys. It can be pelasurable to both of you. There are toys that penetrate and stimulate the clit at the same time which is good for orgasms.

Originally Posted by sp346

Just be aware that the way the clitoris is shaped, 70% of women cannot orgasm from vaginal penetration along.

Try to read this not as argumentative, but as an observation, because that's how I honestly view it.

The business about the physical nature of the clitoris being the culprit in removing vaginal orgasm is possibly both right AND a huge mistake that sex therapists have been making for quite a while. Why do I say this?

>deep breath<. Ok, it's *complicated*, but here goes the cliff's notes version. I'll try to just list it out if I can, to see if that makes sense. It's not in order, and many of you will most certainly disagree (for very VERY good reasons), but many of you are also perhaps *too close* to the tree to see the forest behind. And a misread of statistics is just so very easy, even by scientists.

Establishing as a fact the observation that so many women have not orgasmed vaginally is insurmountable is so often meant to soothe an anxious filled patient, but I think it does damage. I believe the emphasis should be not that "relax there's a reason for it" soothes someone, but "relax it hasn't happened for most women yet" might not shut a door unnecessarily.

This sounds like locker room talk, but perhaps by now I've gained enough trust with people here to say that I've been with women that swore their whole lives that they never thought that vaginal orgasm was possible until me. Am I spectacular? Hear me here PLEASE hear me: No. I listen, and respond moment to moment second by second adapting to the needs of the woman.

Sex is NOT about the action, it's about what it *means*. This statement will take a book for me to write, which I'm woefully unqualified for, so I'll leave it there for now. I'll be glad to chat this out with anyone 1:1, but in a forum it's just inviting disaster.

Oh jeez, there is just so much to say here. Just be careful of shutting doors.

Trying so hard to not sound as if I'm jumping to conclusions. Forums don't convey inflection nor tone very well, so I'm always worried about this. I tried to re-edit as best I could, especially to put into large bold the "NO I am not special" idea, but there's a 5 minute limit on edits I don't understand.