Thread: how should i feel about my man watching porn?

I know EXACTLY what you are feeling. Trust me, I know. Me and my husband have been through this a lot. Before we got married this year, we were dating for 4 years and that includes living together. Now, he use to watch ANIME/hentai. Which is like cartoon porn, and it really discusses me. Believe it or NOT, he has stopped; all thanks to 4 years of winning and ing (me),he finally stopped. More than 20 Break-ups. Here we are now. I do NOT like porn, or my husband watching it. EVERYONE is different. It doesn't mean you have to do the same, it was really hard girl. It took a lot of work, and when he deployed to Iraq, it was even worse.....He use to lie about it, and go behind my back. I had to go to therapy (and to all those people who are reading...yea, i hit rock bottom. I have different beliefs. ) BUT ENOUGH about me... Im just trying to let you know, that you are NOT the only one in this case. You cannot change who you are and how you feel. Everyone says its "normal" but it really isn't. I mean, now in days it is. Because what wasn't "normal" before, now it is. But really whats "normal"?

I suggest you talk to him really. Let him know how you feel. At first I use to regret speaking my mind to him, because it really caused a huge problem, but, I think it was worth it. I also suggest that you follow your heart, and I know you have questions and insecurities, but a lot of people here on the internet, are going to tell you is normal. I've posted questions like this before on other websites, and all I get is "normal". So hope you hear me out, and log in to check this again, you shouldn't stand for it. How long have you guys been together? Are you insecure? Are you guys married? How would you describe your relationship right now? Im here for you, if you want. I know is hard to believe but my husband did stop. He really did...I went really far and please dont judge me. I put a program on our computer, that records everything! That was from before we got married. We are mostly always together... so trust me. it is possible. I really would love for you to talk to him, and let him know how you feel. I wouldn't want you to go that far! It really sucks. I had to go to 1 year of therapy. I really hope that you find this somewhat useful.

Also, I learned how to trust him, so I hope everything works out for you. You can message me if you want my personal email for ANY help <3

There isn't a right or wrong way to feel about it... so you should ask yourself how you feel about. Is your sex life satisfying? Do you have it when you want it? If you are satisfied, the next question would be - is he? Is he able to be intimate with you when he wants? Does he ever get upset at the lack of frequency of sex? If he ain't complaining and you are satisfied then the biggest issue here would be respecting your feelings about how and when he utilizes it and how it genuinly makes you feel. I get hurt when I know my bf's been looking at porn but mostly because I am completely sexually available to him, so any looking is just him choosing it INSTEAD of me, and not because he cant get it from me. But then there are some men that want sex from their wives and can't get it, wife says no or it has to only be on every other tuesday and only if its cloudy and then its a no go if not... and for those guys, its only fair they get to utilize porn.

I noticed since the delivery of our beautiful healthy daughter, he watches way more porn. We have been together for almost 2 years now. I have asked him why he watches porn and told him how i felt about him watching it, the only thing he says about it is that he is learning new stuff to try on me. Every time we do have sex, its wham bam thank-you ma'am. Only he finishes. When i ask him to help me reach the big "o", he makes up an excuse so he doesn't have to. Then he runs and jumps into the shower. Our sexual relationship has changed, just keeps getting shorter, no foreplay, no cuddles after. I am so hurt, and really need a suggestion that might help me cope better.