Thread: I cant orgasm.

So ive been masturbating for a few years, and watching porn and really putting research into this I thought i was broken. I figured if i just had sex i would know, so taking the dive i gave my bf of over a year my virginity and to be honest i felt nothing it didn't hurt it was just more annoying i had to fake it all cause i wanted it to be good for him but honestly i cant reach the big "O". I want to more than anything else but i just cant ive tried ALOT of things. My poor bf i want it to be amazing i want to enjoy it as much as him.

And my bf by no means is bad in bed ive herd from quite a few people hes amazing -.- BUT STILL

But when i masturbate it don't really feel "good" or when i have sex its just meh like okay, i could live with or without this. I get no pleasure at all. I was wondering your guy's thoughts. Im very pretty i don't have low self esteem or anything i love my body a little to much and i think im perfect so i know its not a body issue but is my vagina broke?


PLEASE HELP Am i broken? i hope not

If you are beautiful and happy with your body you shouldn't have much of a problem achieving orgasm.

OK so when you masturbate alone its not pleasurable ?

Do you or have you experienced anything that would inhibit or block you enjoying the pleasure ?

Can you imagine anything that is remotely erotic to you?

Being molested or being interferred with may affect your enjoyment of sex.

Poor technique from a man may be the problem but if you cant or dont enjoy playing with yourself makes me wonder why ?

Have you seen anything that you found erotic ? A flower ? Something anything that might have aroused you ?

Porn from what I have seen is mostly horrible, paid actors going through positions and acts and hurting their women thats not erotic to me.

So why would it be erotic to a women ?

Are you aroused if a man kisses you gently and passionately ?

If you have a religious background most probably the negative programming has affected your ability to enjoy pleasure.

If you have been told pleasure is bad then maybe you dont see pleasure as a good thing.

Pleasure is pleasure, its a feeling not a moral.

First of all, you are not broken.

I have a difficult time masturbating with my hands. Just don't know how, but a vibrator really works for me. Love it.

Sex is an art that takes time and practice to learn and you are learning for the rest of your life. Don't get discouraged just because you can't orgasm right now. Try to find things that YOU (not what the media says) find arousing. Everybody is different and you need to find and accept what titalates you. Most people have something that they find sexual and arousing that may not seem so mainstream. Have you found stuff that arouses you? Do you fantasize? Find things that are sexually pleasing and these do not have to be things that give you an orgasm or are even related to your genitals. Do you like reading erotica? Maybe watching gay porn. Maybe its just the feeling of silk against your body. Find things you enjoy sexually.

Next thing is understand your body. It is suprising how many women do not know their sexual body (and I am not referring to the reproductive body). Non of the biology text books or your sex education classes will show you the female sexual body. Do some research and learn about the clitoris, the G-spot and the physiology of orgasm. Understand that you may never orgasm through vaginal sex. That is just a reality for a majority of women.

Try different things like vibrators and oral sex. Don't fake it with your partner. If this is a relationship that you want to work and have a lasting sexual relationship with, be honest with him. If you act like you are enjoying it, he is not going to try to do anything different because he will think you are already loving what he is doing. Tell him what works and what doesn't. Suggest stuff. Don't be afraid to ask for specific things. He is not a mind reader. He will not know what you like if you don't tell him. Focus on the pleasure of sex and all things sexual. Once you are there, then you can focus on the orgasm.

Read the book Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving by Betty Dodson. It is a classic.

Im not a realist but i let nothing get to me at all. Im not emotionless but i just don't let things bother me, I want this, but when i try i get that meh don't let it bother me mentality and now it really bothers me.

I wonder how old you are. I think that is a bad sign if u get no pleasure from masterbation. So it doesn't feel good at all? If you get sexually aroused there should be some pleasure. So does he perform oral on you and theres really no feeling? If thats the case I think you have some either medical or mental issues u have to work out

Like i can feel what going on and i can feel my hands and toys but i get nothing out of it i might smile a little but then its gone and it gets awkward like okay im sitting here playing with myself what now?

Originally Posted by Sarieayala

Like i can feel what going on and i can feel my hands and toys but i get nothing out of it i might smile a little but then its gone and it gets awkward like okay im sitting here playing with myself what now?

Awkward, hmmm, do you feel embarrased also ?

Play with your self and search for anykind of pleasure anything that feels nice.

Ask yourself are you inhibited ?

When you have a bath check the water for the right temperature, not too hot not too cold, put yourself under the facet and see how it feels.

Search back through to childhood in your mind for anything that might be affecting you.

Your not taking any drugs by any chance, sometimes the drugs can affect your labido ?

What could be bothering you? Are you overtired ? If you switch off why do you switch off ? What are you trying to avoid in your mind ? Thats what I perceive in you.

I will confess that a most of the women in my life have been sexually abused to some extent whether that be in a big way or just in a minor way, very few I know have not been psychologically damaged in some way.