Thread: orgasmic frustration

Originally Posted by kygirl

Little_Man: I think you're sadly mistaken. I think the problem sometimes (at least for me and I'm sure other women) is that staying focused. As women, we are always doing 100 things at a time. From my experience, men are much better at focusing on one thing. If I'm doing one thing, I feel like I'm not being productive. It's also easier to break that focus even if you're right there and not be able to get it back. It has nothing to do with plastic, or pregnancy or whatever.

To the original poster: It's hard for guys. I mean, they feel like they "have" to accomplish that or they have somehow failed and let's be honest, that is not the case. Sex can feel GREAT even if you don't orgasm, and sometimes the pressure of feeling like you HAVE to orgasm can be it's own turn off.

I would focus on explaining what feels good. Try different positions. Try different places. Role play. Play games. Whatever you need to do to get you in the right frame of mind. Try to make an effort to NOT think about what you have going on at work, school, whatever the case may be. For those moments, it's just you and him. If you can get your mind in check, and figure out what works for you personally, you'll get it together in no time

Focus on, what I don't get what you mean?

It is true (I believe) that any kind of worry about anything while making love is counter productive in regards to achieving orgasm.

It appears to me you have a lot of worries about work, now this to me is a problem.

I guess it depends on what is important to you, material wealth or orgasmic bliss.

Originally Posted by jns

Having an orgasm, for women and men, is a lot about relaxing and going with the flow. If a person tries to direct the orgasm or worries about having one, it is likely not to happen.

I wish I reach that stage once I have sex and I am preparing for it and I do not now what orgasm is. Is it the thrill of letting go or releasing something from us? When I cum after a masturbation I cum and I feel thrilled. Is it orgasm when we cum after the sex with a lady?

Originally Posted by suntan

I wish I reach that stage once I have sex and I am preparing for it and I do not now what orgasm is. Is it the thrill of letting go or releasing something from us? When I cum after a masturbation I cum and I feel thrilled. Is it orgasm when we cum after the sex with a lady?

Orgasm is when your vaginal barrel contracts involuntarily, rythmically and spasmodically (spasms 'out of control') its the one thing that discerns it above all else.

That is not the only thing that happens, but that is one of the things that does happen.

I believe orgasms come in different intensities, little ones that are not that intense, and realy powerful orgasm, is when there is something like sweat all over your body, its like your drenched in water.

Your heart is beating faster than 200+ beats per minute.

Ones breathing must be heightened (not that I remember this) 'tachycardia'.

You cannot miss an orgasm.

to the original poster -- trust me when i say this, you will KNOW you had an orgasm when it happens, no questions asked. there is no other feeling like it & it is not something easily ignored. like others have said before me, experiment with yourself before you try to with another person. you need to feel comfortable with your body and know what YOU like before you can guide someone else to please you. get as relaxed as possible, then start off small & slow until you find something you truly enjoy. then have your SO try it on you. if they are unable to give you the same satisfaction you give yourself, take their hands with yours and show them how to do it. this will not only provide you with physicial stimulation, but it will help you connect on a deeper level.