Thread: Girlfriend with orgasm difficulties

Greetings all. I've recently entered a relationship with a girl and all's going great...except a small hitch: she has an incredibly hard time reaching orgasm. Now don't get me wrong, I know there's more to sex than just orgasms ( and trust me, we're enjoying it ) but I would still wish to please my partner fully.

To get the general picture: she's 25 and I'm her first lover ( flattering ), I'm 24 and had a decent few partners over time. She has a very stressful life seeing as she both works as an accountant, follows her study still and has a bunch of other obligations. In bed, I've the tendency to be a pleaser - I love foreplay, performing oral sex and your run-of-the-mill procedures - and I've never had issues like these...which is making this quite confusing.

She never masturbated a lot and the few times she did it was by running a jet of very hot water from a faucet onto her clitoral area...and despite trying a very varied amount of things ( being with hands, mouth and varied other toys and parts ), this has been the only way that she has been able to achieve orgasm - and even that takes her some good 40 minutes.

We've had "sessions" that lasted from 2 hours to 4, and even after having her be on the very edge of having an orgasm for over 30 minutes ( something that was obviously very torturing for her, as you may imagine! ) nothing would do the trick. It all seems to work, and she's enjoying it, but somehow she's unable to cross that threshold.

I'm not trying to pressure her about this, nor want to. But I would like to know if someone had similar experiences or knows some good tips/tricks to satisfying her. After all, if we're enjoying our company in every other way, we may as well enjoy it fully in the bedroom.

Thanks in advance!

Wow
from what you ave described you have your work cut out for you.
Accountants are left brain thinkers- organised and disciplined. I think girls like this struggle with their sexuality more that right brain creative girls.
It sounds like her clit is very robust as well.
Try getting a vibrating back massager with a few attachments( or a Magic wand)

Let her get used to it so she can show you what works. Lube is important.
If you are operating it you will need to keep it well lubed and take guidance from her.
You could try gentle strokes and massage while she is using it to help boost things as well.

Hmm, thing is we've tried using a vibrator already and she wasn't too comfortable with it. Apparently it feels too "mechanical" to her - go figure.

Sometimes it can be a mental thing. I didn't experience an orgasm for many years while sexually active. Not that I didn't enjoy sex. And it wasn't that I had hang ups. Its just that I didn't know better and I was always too focused on pleasing my partner. Sometimes you just need to let your mind go and focus on your own pleasure and the physicial aspect of the orgasm, tensing your muscles down there, but at the same time relaxing your mind. I also think, for women, orgasm is a learned art and takes experience. It is normal for most women not to be able to orgasm within the first year of sexual activity.

Could it be that the 30 minutes of near orgasm that your girlfriend felt was actually multiple orgasms that she just didn't realize since she isn't familiar with them. Also, I find orgasms to get more intense the more you have them. So the early ones may not feel so explosive with fireworks at the end.

I would suggest your girlfriend try masturbating (with or without you) to get more comfortable with her body and discover that works for her. It will slowly happen with time. Don't worry about it too much.

I Have the same problem as your girlfriend, But I can't even orgasm by doing anything!!
I like to think it will happen one day, as I'm sure it will happen for her
I think keep trying varied toys and even positions and you may just come across that one little thing that can send her over the edge