why can't i have an orgasm while having sex?

**BeReal** · 11-11-2011 10:35 PM

hey everyone, I'm quiet new here and would love to get a few answers

I've been sexually active for the past 5years. I've been sexually active with just one guy

now, I do get an orgasm while he plays with my clitoris, however I never get an orgasm while having sex and that makes me feel like i have a problem

i really want to have an orgasm when we are having sex.

now i know many girls/women just dont get to a climax with sex and they need to be played with on the clitoris....but i was wondering why this is and if there's anything i can do to change this.

any advice would be appreciated

**ItsASecret** · 11-11-2011 10:53 PM

This is because there are less nerve endings in the vagina compared to the clitoris which has several times more in such a small space. You are not broken nor do you have a problem if you do not orgasm through penetration alone, the countless majority of women cannot either. They often need to be rubbing their clitoris while they are having sex in order to orgasm, that is simply how their body reacts. You can try different things to experiment, try fantasizing while having sex without touching your clit in order to just up the arousal factor. Other than that it is simply trial and error with different positions and thoughts and such. If you do not orgasm through penetration alone it is not the end of the world, nor are you broken or have a problem, you are just one of the women that respond more-so to clitoral stimulation and there is nothing wrong with that.

**sp346** · 11-12-2011 05:57 PM

Its basic anatomy. The clit is shaped like a wishbone with the tip being what you see. The rest decents around the vulva. Its not inside your vagina. About only 30% women can orgasm with intercourse alone. You can alwasy rub yourself of have your parter rub you while having intercourse. Also, you being on top while slowing grinding into him can work. The simple pounding into you usually doesn't do the trick.

**Annah** · 11-13-2011 08:18 PM

i can't come either through just vaginal sex. As others said, there just isn't enough nerves in there. I have to stimulate my clitoris during vaginal sex. Also, if you ride him you can grind your pubic area into his waist...that will stimulate the clitoris too.

**maleview** · 11-14-2011 10:16 AM

Have an orgasm through oral first. This will get the blood flowing to the area and make it easier to have others through penetration.

**Mitchel1870** · 11-25-2011 09:07 PM

Sex is like a dance, the longer you are with a partner the better you can dance with one another. I rub my wife to get her going, thrust a bit them I give her some room while she rubs herself and I thrust. Generally it take her 25-40 minutes of rubbing at which point I wait for certain little noises and cues then I can release. It is a dance we have perfected after 19 years and ends in 99% mutual satisfaction (every once in a while timing is off, lately it has been me). I would say the first couple years were more stacked in my favor but lately she has been getting consistent 1+ minute orgasms the older we get. Hang in there it gets better with time.

**Beththebutterfly** · 11-26-2011 12:46 PM

I am another who can not orgasm with just penetration alone.The best way for me is from oral stimulation .If I am on top I will usually have an orgasm also.I still greatly enjoy intercourse anyway.An orgasm is the iceing on the cake for me.