Thread: Am I selfish?

I have been with my boyfriend for about a month now and we have recently started sleeping together. He is the first guy that I have been with and I am not his first. He does everything to make sure that I am pleased. He performs oral on me and fingers me and it feels great. I tried to give him a bj, my first time, and it was really awkward. I don't think I was doing it right. And everytime I give him a hand job, he doesn't come. I feel like he is so great at making sure I am happy that I am not doing my part to make him happy. He hasn't said anything about it, but I just worry that when he pleases me I don't always please him back because I don't think I am doing a good job.

I am not sure how old you are, but a lot of guys will try their hardest to not cum because they don't know how you will react. Let him know you want him to and I am sure he will.

You're obviously not selfish because you care about how he is feeling and if you're pleasing him, so don't think you're selfish because he pleases you and you're not sure if you do him. It takes practice and if he knows you're new at it, he'll understand. Does he know you're new to all of this? Talking to him about it and just saying "If there's anything you want me to do different, just tell me" or ask him "Does that feel good?"

And just so you know, I've been having sex for 6 years and it still took quite a few times of giving my fiance a blow job to get it just how he likes it. It takes time to get to know each other's bodies. The longer you're together, the more you learn what each other likes. Just because I did one thing for one of my ex's doesn't mean my current lover likes it. Everyone is different and like i said, it just takes time and practice.

Ask, don't assume. Why do you think you are not pleasing him? Cumming is not the only sign of pleasure. Half of the pleasure of sex is giving pleasure. When he is pleasuring you, he gets sexual pleasure out of that. Also, ask him what he likes. Doesn't matter how experienced you are, you can't be a mind reader. Everybody has to ask their partner what they like, if they are doing is correctly, etc. I've been with my husband for 11 years and I still keep asking him what to do.

Giving oral and hand jobs are a a learned art. Your partner will also have to give you instructions because each guy likes it differently. You can also read up on technique. I always recommend the book Guide to Getting It On. Part of the fun with a new sex partner is learning about each other's pleasure. Don't assume you can get it perfect the first time. Learning over time make sex fun.

First off, It takes time to learn what works. On the blow job, maybe incorporate your hands a bit to get some pressure, alternate speeds, make sure there is enough lubrication. I'm sure he'll enjoy how it feels whether he cums or not.

Secondly, on the hand job... don't death grip him, but you may ask him if he wants you to grip a bit firmer. Sometimes, it's easy to think you might be holding on too hard and actually not be applying enough pressure. You can also vary your grip and speed to mix it up a bit.

You'll figure it out. Don't put too much pressure on yourself