Buddhist longing for a relationship

**suntan** · 11-23-2011 12:22 AM

I keep my name secret here for various reasons. In fact are living abstinently and yet I, well versed with modern literature and conversant in modern lifestyles am rather fed up with this life of chastity. I have read Tantric Buddhism wherein sex, romance, marriage and even eroticism are not tabooed and yet the community I live in with people abstaining from indulgence annoy me and go against their impulses. Coming upon this forum I am simply thrilled since I can talk all I feel anonymously, something I always kept private to myself. If they know I will be expelled from my dormitory.

I have no experience of sex until now and maybe if I get posted to a different locality as an instructor I may have a relationship amongst my own pupils or any other devotees as some do as I have heard. Some relationships end up in marriages and once they are hooked they will not have a monastic life. Monkhood is a very revered profession in our part of the world and once we are out of it we will lose all else.

I have no idea about flirting or romancing and I seek advices from all here. I do not know hoe to network with a world of women and how to deal with sexual issues. Most websites are banned and this one being health-related is open to us.

I do not know how to start a discussion. In fact I want to learn a lot about sexual issues, orgasms and the like.
How can we start making love? What is important before approaching each other?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-23-2011 02:33 AM

Can you elaborate on your own pupils? I don't like the sounds of that..

Welcome to the Forum, you are indeed anonymous here.

I am also sure if you read topics in the sex section you will obtain alot of knowledge that may help guide you.

Making love? Chemistry equals attraction... Attraction equals chemistry ... Chemistry equals wanting to lust and from there have sexual relations...

In addition I believe you want or should search for compatibility, same core values, beliefs...

What do you mean most websites are banned?

It's understanding and communicating, being able to talk to each other about likes and dislikes and getting to know each other's bodies therefore.

**suntan** · 11-23-2011 04:00 AM

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

Can you elaborate on your own pupils? I don't like the sounds of that..

Welcome to the Forum, you are indeed anonymous here.

I am also sure if you read topics in the sex section you will obtain alot of knowledge that may help guide you.

Making love? Chemistry equals attraction... Attraction equals chemistry ... Chemistry equals wanting to lust and from there have sexual relations...

In addition I believe you want or should search for compatibility, same core values, beliefs...

What do you mean most websites are banned?

It's understanding and communicating, being able to talk to each other about likes and dislikes and getting to know each other's bodies therefore.

It is so nice of you to welcome me and I have never been in a forum like this and never expected a warm welcomed before. I like your quote of chemistry equaling attraction. I live in a monastery with strict rules and we are not mixed up with women and have to refrain from talking about love, sex and the like. We have no access to erotic sites.

Pupils means once we complete our training, in fact it is a very long and arduous one and we have to undergo severe rules and penances. Now only a few months left I can be out as a trainer or instructor and can come across people of both sexes. Though I am a Buddhist by religion or profession I like to address and understand my impulses and I do not want to ignore the longings the way we were instructed to disregard. I am poor at communication in English since I live in a Himalayan abode near the great Himalayas.

**Claret** · 11-23-2011 04:36 AM

According to what I know of Budistic life, if you are in a Monestary and in training as a leader, then the vows of celebacy are in effect. If you are looking for this type of information off of the internet then it would appear that you should be looking for other information first, such as how to leave the Monastic life. Then, when you are ready seek out information on sex and sexuality.

**suntan** · 11-23-2011 04:48 AM

You are right and I am slowly trying to leave the monastic life and it is not so easy. I have to clear many entanglements before that. There are some circumstances and social and cultural restrictions and impositions and it is really hard to do away with them.I know I do not belong here and I am a modern thinker though I was born in an age-old our social circle. I want to break through all those barriers to realize the potentials I am possessed of