Please, female opinions

**dlanier248** · 11-30-2011 02:06 PM

When you and your man wake up in the mornings, if he rolls over to cuddle you, and his is awake (hard), shouldn't you get the hint he would like to make love?

Why is that so difficult?

**KMonte85** · 11-30-2011 02:13 PM

Really dl? Let's look at this from another perspective, shall we?

When you and your man wake up in the morning: dragon breath, eye boogers, and all - and he sticks his hardon in your back while you're still half asleep, shouldn't he get the hint that you're just not in the mood to make love at that very moment and he should wait until you're both in the right mindset?

Why is that so difficult? :/

**kygirl** · 11-30-2011 02:20 PM

I have to kind of agree with KM here. I mean, just because your man wakes up doesn't mean you are to assume that 1) he's def ready to go or 2) that you're necessarily all awake and raring to go. I, for one, am not a morning person. So, unless it's the weekend or I've got some clue we might be getting it on (like we decided the night before, we'd do it in the am.) I make no assumptions. I think you have to talk to your partner and make them feel good. Don't just assume that they should be ready to go all the time.

**dlanier248** · 11-30-2011 02:26 PM

Good point, that is why I asked? =-)

but.. have you been with holding for over 4months of NOT having sex, and when he brings it up you get pissy and all he ever thinks about is SEX...

Ever heard of a deer in rut? Ever had a dog hump your leg?

There are times (if you really love someone) you should give in!!!!

**Fallen1** · 11-30-2011 02:29 PM

Maybe I'm wrong but I was under the impression that (most) men wake up with hard-ons and it doesn't necessarily mean they are raring to go - that waking up that way just happens whether they're in the mood or not.

**dlanier248** · 11-30-2011 02:34 PM

I guess I am just tired of giving and not getting in return. Wife says she knows she is not "taking care of" me like she should.

Ok, if you say you are trying "I am trying to get better so we can have sex".. doesn't that include physical contact? Like kissing, petting.. foreplay??

I can't touch my wife in no manner except a standing hug and kiss that last maybe 10-20 seconds.. CLOTHED...

Frustrated!!!!

**KMonte85** · 11-30-2011 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by dlanier248

Good point, that is why I asked? =-)

but.. have you been with holding for over 4months of NOT having sex, and when he brings it up you get pissy and all he ever thinks about is SEX...

Ever heard of a deer in rut? Ever had a dog hump your leg?

There are times (if you really love someone) you should give in!!!!

That is a completely different issue than your SO not having sex with you in the mornings. It's one thing if your wife isn't a morning person, and so she doesn't want to do it in the AM, not a huge deal. It's totally another thing if she's withheld sex for months and doesn't want to do it EVER and won't budge. That's a much more serious problem, one that needs to be discussed with her openly and as nonjudgementally as possible. Will she agree to counseling, either individual, or couples? If that has already been done, and she won't work with you to fix the intimacy problem, then it might be time to evaluate how long you want to remain in a celebate marriage.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 11-30-2011 02:50 PM

Yeah this is not about morning sex at all. This is about NO sex and you're frustrated and that's understandable. Let me say this in regards to morning sex....she is not your semen receptacle. K?

Most men I've ever known wake up with a hard on EVERY SINGLE morning. Some men get hard when they wear soft pants. Some men get hard when they see a pretty gal walk by. That does NOT mean it's your wifes duty to take care of every hard on you ever have.

Now...lack of sex = highly frustrating. Lack of affection and feeling of being desired and loved = even more frustrating. I get the feeling you are feeling all of those things. Her saying she knows shes not doing right, but doing nothing to DO right is totally bogus. Has she given you any reason why she doesn't feel affectionate towards you? Has something changed with her in the last 4 months? Change of job, change of birth control, not getting along in other aspects of the marriage etc??

**Fallen1** · 11-30-2011 02:50 PM

I agree with what KM is saying about not having sex for months. There is a bigger issue than just not having sex in the mornings.

My first response (although I didn't expand on it) came from me interpreting your post differently. I was saying that I would not necessarily take it as a hint (without knowing the facts behind your question).

**dlanier248** · 11-30-2011 03:16 PM

Originally Posted by KMonte85

That is a completely different issue than your SO not having sex with you in the mornings. It's one thing if your wife isn't a morning person, and so she doesn't want to do it in the AM, not a huge deal. It's totally another thing if she's withheld sex for months and doesn't want to do it EVER and won't budge. That's a much more serious problem, one that needs to be discussed with her openly and as nonjudgementally as possible. Will she agree to counseling, either individual, or couples? If that has already been done, and she won't work with you to fix the intimacy problem, then it might be time to evaluate how long you want to remain in a celebate marriage.

We have been to counseling, she didnt' like being told once a week should be normal.... we have not been back. weird part is she was a nympho for about 3-4yrs.. then excuse after excuse.. I am just tired of it..
I am still willing to work at it, but there has to be some give on her part... I have been very patient, they are running out. I have even asked for any kind of contact, doesn't have to be intercourse, no go...