Thread: Can't seem to orgasm

I'm 20 years old and I've been in the CG for two years. I have had a bf now for 6 months, and he's been very nice. I've never had the urge to try and masterbate, so when we started having sex that probably didn't help. He gave me my first and only orgasm through fingering. But now, even after 2-3 months of trying, I haven't had another one and it's very frustrating. I am very open with him and tell him just about everything. I have told him this, I just don't know if I can watch him have an orgasm and not me again because it never happens to me. He always gets satisfied and I don't. He agrees with me that it's not fair but kinda gives me the "If thats the way it is then I guess so be it." He said he would be kinda pissed if I told him I don't want to get him off especially not knowing if I'll ever get off. I'm under a lot more stress than he is because of the military and my parents talk about each other (they are divorced). He still lives with his parents (still married). He always gets off during sex/vaginal penetration and I don't. He always gets off if I use my hand but I don't get off if he fingers me. He gets me EXTREMELY close at least once every time he tries but then after than, forget it. I was born breached and I have slight depression (I was on wellbutrin for awhile.) I'm just getting really tired of him getting everything out of sex and not me. It's not fair. He always has a satisfied look on his face. Why is it like this and will it always be like this?

Horsluvr Have you tired just playing with the clit area and see what feels best for you? I never had an organ during sex yet either (frustrating) my guy always get me off after though..t's the fair way..maybe he can try using his tongue..i always get off a lot faster when my boyfriend goes down on me Also if you use condoms try using one with a vibrator to stimulate the clit area

I sense a lot of anger towards your partner which I understand because you feel sexually frustrated. I think you need to let go of that anger first. As long as he is willing to try do things to satisfy you, you shouldn't be angry at him. That anger, in combination with all the stress in your life can be contributing to your sexual frustration. Personally, my experience has been that for women, orgasm is a learned art that you need to learn about over time which can something be years. Men on the other hand, usually learn to orgasm once they hit puberty. Take your time, explore with your partner, try to relax and try different things. Don't go into it saying "I want an orgasm!" That will probably be the surest way to make sure you don't have one. Let your focus be on enjoying the sexual contact and letting your mind and body just enjoy everything that is going on.

The other thing is many women can't orgasm on vaginal intercourse along. Try a toy or oral sex. Also, performing oral is a skill too. You may have to direct him with what feels good for you.

Hi
It sounds like he is doing his best but most guys are not well informed as they get a lot of their training form porn.
Foreplay and slow build up are important. Start of with body massage sessions using body butter or massage oils. Do some experimental massage as well with you giving a lot of feed back as to what feels good. The type of pressure , motion and speed you like on your clit.
Often the front wall of the Vagina is the most sensitive part and he may need to be shown this.
I know you are frustrated but research , constant testing and trying new things will get you there in the end.
Some solo sessions might be good for you as well.

I've had 2 weak orgasms (one from him and another by myself) since I posted this. The first one was from him fingering me, it took about 2 hrs of fingering on and off. I have a vibrator but it's kinda big so I'm gonna get the bullet. He says hes ok with getting me off first before i get him. He says if I don't get off then he shouldn't. I'll ask him about a condom with a vibrator but idk what he will say

I just don't understand. Why can it sometimes be years before a girl gets off and learns how to work her body but I guy can get off in 20 mins? And sometimes its extremely hard for me not to think about life during sex.

I didn't have an orgasm until I tried using a vibrator. I think you should have sex with your boyfriend, include clit stimulation, and try a sex toy. You may want to try the toy alone at first, then, once you know how your body is going to react, include your boyfriend with the vibrator.