Thread: Can't orgasm :(

Yet another post about a woman not being able to orgasm. Sigh. But here's the thing: I haven't yet been able to orgasm with hubby and he's the only guy I've been with. I always always enjoy sex, I really do. But now it's just frustrating because it's been a long time and no luck. So I finally broke down and got a vibrator. I've never masturbated before because I never liked that. I would rather have hubby touch me. But I thought a vibrator would help. It's been a couple of weeks only, but still no luck!! I'm really surprised because I heard that a pocket rocket would do the trick. It's so powerful but I don't know. It feels good and then I feel my body contracting but then nevermind it goes away. It feels like something is going to happen but it never does! Does anyone have any advice? I really don't want to be one of those women who can't ever orgasm Do I need more time with it? I can't use it for very long because then it just doesn't feel good anymore. I would much rather have real sex than a vibrator but I really need help!

You really need to be open to the idea of using a vibrator. You are already saying you don't like the idea of it, so your mind is already turned off by it.

Also, orgasms are very different. From watching movies, we think that itn't going to be an explosion with fireworks while screening your partner's name in euphoria. I can tell you mine aren't like that. In fact, if I'm not paying attention or screaming too much, I might completely miss it. When I'm by myself and don't have a partner to focus on, I pay more attention to what my body is doing and notice things that I usually don't when I'm with my husband. There is arousal, the feeling good part, then really feeling good but something has to happen feeling, and then I feel my muscles spasming into an orgasm. It feels really good, but its a much more subtle feeling. If I wasn't paying attention I wouldn't even realize I had one. Then my muscles all get really relaxed and I slowly come down my high. Its not a abrupt end.

Maybe one day I will learn to have more explosive orgasms, but that doesn't mean I don't have them or even enjoy them.

Since you prefer your husband (I do too), try to use it with him. But you have to be open to the idea of the vibrator for it to work. For once, just focus on yourself and not your partner. Be aware of your body and focus on every pleasurable sensation you are feeling. Tighten your muscles. Have your husband insert his finger and curl them stimulating your G spot at the same time.

Thank you. I understand what you mean. I think I do need to be more open to the idea but it's hard. And hopefully including hubby will help. And also my muscles don't spasm and my vagina doesn't contract so that's why I think I feel really close to that but it hasn't happened yet.

Hello MrsA:
What you're describing with the vibrator sounds very familiar to me. I found that the vibrator can overload my systems and make me feel like I am about to orgasm, but then it's gone, and then the vibrator doesn't feel good anymore. It wor4ks better for me with less vibrator or a lower setting. Did you ever try a lower setting on the vibrator, or changing things around using fingers and a little vibrator for a few seconds, and then fingers again?
As for with the hubby, did you ever try a arousal gel? I had good luck with one called Galaxis, I found on Amazon. It doesn't make things feel different, the arousal just gets stronger, and it makes me more sensitive.
Good luck!

Originally Posted by opossum

Hello MrsA:
What you're describing with the vibrator sounds very familiar to me. I found that the vibrator can overload my systems and make me feel like I am about to orgasm, but then it's gone, and then the vibrator doesn't feel good anymore. It wor4ks better for me with less vibrator or a lower setting. Did you ever try a lower setting on the vibrator, or changing things around using fingers and a little vibrator for a few seconds, and then fingers again?
As for with the hubby, did you ever try a arousal gel? I had good luck with one called Galaxis, I found on Amazon. It doesn't make things feel different, the arousal just gets stronger, and it makes me more sensitive.
Good luck!

Wow thank you so much! That's so true. I should probably get another vibrator because the pocket rocket only has one speed: really powerful. I'm glad you knew what I was talking about. Thanks for the input. And I'm definitely going to try the gel.