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Thread: What can i do?!

  1. 01-05-2012 01:26 PM #1
    CharlieAlphaSierraX2
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    Default What can i do?!

    [Hopefully i'm putting this in the correct location]

    Well, first of all, I'm new here. I'm hoping you fellow WH users can help me out.
    I'm 21 and have been with my current boyfriend[20] for a little over a year now. Living with him for a little under a year. I'm his first[pretty much everything, GF, sexual partner etc.] And i don't know if i've lost interest or what..
    I have feelings for him and really do care but i never WANT to have sex or "make love" anymore. We used to be intimate somewhat regularly and either one of us or both of us would [i don't really know how to say this--] get things started? But for the last few months i've just been completely turned off to the idea of almost any kind of intimacy, even "french-kissing." I've tried using toys to get myself in the mood but it doesn't work.
    He tells me everyday how "beautiful" i am and that he "wants me." But i think that it's really doing more harm than good for him. For instance: When he tries to kiss my neck i push him away with my shoulder as if it tickles a little.. And when he says he wants me i get upset. And more upset when he gets mad or hurt or whatever when i [basically] tell him no.

    I don't know what to do to fix it. I want him to be happy but it feels like i'm just starting to HATE intimacy. Any thoughts?
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  2. 01-05-2012 02:24 PM #2
    CHANDLERS WISH
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    Let me ask you this.

    Do you feel as if, it's only sex now?

    I ask that based on you wanting to turn away when he says " I want you"...as well as trying to kiss your neck, and French Kissing.

    Intimacy goes beyond sex.. It's the acknowledgement that you are loved, respected, wanted for just being you, wanting to just hold your hand or give you a hug, a slow dance, a smile, without sex... And, then wanting to bond with intimacy, in sexual or sensual tones, and then also off course the horney take me "kind of sex" ..

    If it's always "horney, take me kind of sex a woman can be turned off, feel she is meat.

    Is this how you feel?
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!
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  3. 01-05-2012 09:12 PM #3
    jns
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    What are the details of how you used to be intimate and what are the details of intimacy after you had a change of heart? Do you have orgasms during foreplay and during sex? If the encounters seem to be one-sided, the person not getting their needs fulfilled many times becomes resentful.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    Patrick Henry
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  4. 01-07-2012 08:21 PM #4
    sp346
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    Do you get aroused at all, like when watching porn or having fantasies. If you just don't get aroused with you boyfriend but do on other occassion, then I would venture to guess its your relationship that needs to be examined. If you have lost interest in all sexual activities, with him, alone, in fantasies, etc, then that might be a more physical issue. What you changed your medication recently. Any new changes in your life that is adding stress?
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