Thread: husband or roomate...

I have posted about my husband before but i am really feeling down about this now and I really don't know what to do anymore. He just does not seem interested in me anymore. We fianlly had sex about 6 months ago, and can you belive it i fell pregnant. So now i am pregnant and feel even more unattractive and unloved, unappreciated and unwanted! I realise I may be feeling things more due to been pregnant but this has been going on for years. I talk to him about the way i feel and he assures me he loves me and is attracted to me and then carrys on watching TV. Someone suggested I should be making the first move more but my confidence is in a negative now and my husband says he is not confident sexually either. He says he just does not think about it!! I am constantly irriatated with him now, he falls asleep in the lounge most nights so we dont even share a bed anymore really. that hurts me to! I dont want to talk or confide in him anymore. I am really not sure what to do next. Any advice would be really appreciated

It sounds to me like you guys have kinda drifted apart. Have you tried to plan a "date" night and go somewhere that is special to you both and just kind of rekindle the "spark" so to speak. How long have you two been together? I know a lot of relationships go thru situations similar to this, you just kind of get comfortable with your partner and you stop trying to keep the spark alive. Think of a happier time that you shared with him and try to recreate it. How does he feel about the pregnancy?

Hi. I did suggest the date night thing. We have a 3 year old son and have no one to watch him so we don't get to go out. Has to be a really special occasion for us to orgainse it. We tried doing it at home for a while but it fizzeled out pretty quickly! He is very happy about the pregnancy. He is a great dad and a good person, i just wish he was as interested in me as he is in the TV!! We have been together for 7 years married for 6. I don't know, I just feel fed up!

Etsy, don't have advise, but know how you are feeling. I am in the exact same situation. My husband is interested in the TV more than me. He also falls asleep infront of the TV in family room all the time even though he knows I hate when he does that. For Christmas, I got him a TV with headphones for our bedroom, thinking he will at least be in the bedroom. He never connected the headphones and watches TV in the bedroom. So I can't sleep with the TV on and have resorted to sleeping in the guest room until he finally decides he has had enough TV and comes gets me. The other day he didn't even come get me and let me sleep in the other room all night. We've never slept apart like that before. Even when he fell asleep in the couch, he would eventually come to the bed, even if it was 4am. I ask him for sex and he ignores me. I have been so sexually frustrated these last few years. I am at a point where if this continues like this, I am going to tell him that we need to be in an open relationship where I can find sexual satisfaction from other people since he is not willing to provide it. Maybe a little extreme, but I don't know what else to do.

There is something called the 7 year itch and apparently a LOT of relationships go through this type of thing around the 7 year mark. According to an article that I read it said that couples these days are going through it sooner (anytime after the three year mark) because of being so busy etc. Try googling "Relationships 7 year itch" and read a few of the articles. They basically tell you what it is, why relationships go through it and things you can do to help or fix the problems. Hopefully that will do the trick for you. Good luck and keep us posted on what happens.

thanks so much, off to google it now. Will keep you posted

Originally Posted by Etsy

thanks so much, off to google it now. Will keep you posted

Try searching 7 year itch 3 year glitch

The top 10 everyday niggles and passion-killers: 1. Weight gain/lack of exercise, 13 percent; 2. Money & Spend thriftiness, 11 percent; 3. Anti-social working hours, 10 percent; 4. Hygiene issues (personal cleanliness), 9 percent; 5. In-Laws/extended family - too much/too little, 9 percent; 6. Lack of romance (sex, treats etc.), 8 percent; 7. Alcohol - drinking too much, 7 percent; 8. Snoring & anti social bedtime habits, 6 percent; 9. Lapsed fashion-Same old underwear/clothes, 4 percent; 10. Bathroom habits - Stray nail cuttings etc., 4 percent.