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Thread: A question for the men of WH

  1. 01-16-2012 04:01 PM #1
    Goodgirl93
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    Question A question for the men of WH

    As many know,I started here at WH,When I was 16,Was a virgin then,I'm almost 19 now,and I'm a virgin still.

    I've been with my current boyfriend,off and on for almost 5 months. I've always been extremely scared of having sex,letting a guy do anything sexual to me such as fingering,oral,rubbing,ect.,But i've never been afraid to do things to him.

    I'm very self conscious about my body,as I'm not a barbie doll,but I am a pretty girl,I have never had a problem getting guys.

    I guess my question for you guys would be,During fourplay,sex,is your mind and eyes on the females body a lot? I'm scared he will not like my body and he will focus on all my flaws,and it won't turn him on.I've never had a problem turning him on,and he says he wouldn't be able to get a hard on if I wasn't attractive to him. But he has never seen me naked,and that scares me...We are days away from having sex,And anxiety is starting to set in,I just want to be reassured that body image isn't all the male thinks about during sex....
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  2. 01-16-2012 04:26 PM #2
    Ratty
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    The first thing... is to relax. If he is the guy for you, he will respect you and your body. If he truly loves you, he won't care what your body looks like - after all, it's the person we fall in love with, not the body. As long as you show him that you are confident with your body and he respects that, then there is no reason why the two of you shouldn't have a fantastic sex life together.
    I can understand your anxiety, being naked with a member of the opposite sex (or with the same sex for that matter) can be pretty intimidating. None of us have 'the perfect body' and if he is mature enough he will understand this. Trust me, his body will be no more or less perfect than yours. He will have as many flaws as you have.
    During foreplay, those flaws can sometimes be a turn-on for the other partner. For example, I have a few skin tags on the nape of my neck and my other half just loves to twiddle them around with her fingers, and it always drives me wild! She, on the other hand, has a rather large mole on the sole of her left foot and as we all know, sometimes the feet can be quite an erogenous zone so having something to focus my attention on can lead to ome pretty fun foreplay!
    When all is said and done, if he is the one - the right one for you - he won't give a about any flaws you might have. Just the same as you shouldn't care about his.

    Let us know how you get on!
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  3. 01-16-2012 04:31 PM #3
    jns
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    Your bf has already seen much of you and what he hasn't seen, he knows the general shape of. Further, he knows that there is a lot of variation in the detail between women. I'm sure that he will find everything about you fascinating. You two have fooled around a lot, so I would bet the bonding chemicals in his brain are already in overdrive. This is not a time he will see flaws, rather he will see features.

    During foreplay my mind and eyes are always on the woman's body, but my mind, hearing, eyes and sense of touch are also focused on her responses to my playing. I replay sexy poses and snapshots in my mind from the past to see if they provide that little bit extra of excitement. At the same time I look and see if there is something about her this time that gets me extra excited. Many times it is something she may not think is sexy, like the musculature of her legs, the shape of her knees, the softness of her stomach, etc. It is definitely not all focused on the erogenous zones.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    Patrick Henry
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  4. 01-16-2012 04:34 PM #4
    Goodgirl93
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    Well he's always had VERY attractive skinny barbie doll girlfriends.And hes one of those guys that are naturally sexy.He has the six pack to show off and hes just...drooling gorgeous! lol Even though he doesnt think he is. So yea the thought of those few things intimidate me,quite a bit. lol He tells me not to worry and everything will b okay,so I try my best to stay calm but its not working!!! I'm so friggen nervous,excited,sexually frustrated,just....EVERYTHING,and its driving me insane. lmao :P
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  5. 01-16-2012 05:16 PM #5
    oxy-moron
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    I agree with JNS- There will be many things going on his mind- such as his own performance and your reactions- that is, if he is even cabable of coherenet thought at the time.
    Also if you are pretty you can easily get away with some extra pounds.
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  6. 01-16-2012 05:27 PM #6
    Goodgirl93
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    Quote Originally Posted by jns View Post
    Your bf has already seen much of you and what he hasn't seen, he knows the general shape of. Further, he knows that there is a lot of variation in the detail between women. I'm sure that he will find everything about you fascinating. You two have fooled around a lot, so I would bet the bonding chemicals in his brain are already in overdrive. This is not a time he will see flaws, rather he will see features.

    During foreplay my mind and eyes are always on the woman's body, but my mind, hearing, eyes and sense of touch are also focused on her responses to my playing. I replay sexy poses and snapshots in my mind from the past to see if they provide that little bit extra of excitement. At the same time I look and see if there is something about her this time that gets me extra excited. Many times it is something she may not think is sexy, like the musculature of her legs, the shape of her knees, the softness of her stomach, etc. It is definitely not all focused on the erogenous zones.
    This actually reassures me.I never really thought of it that way,that he might actually be focusing on making it feel good for me,and worrying about his performance. Honestly put many thoughts aside in my head with this one. I often wonder if he is sexually matured as u all here. He is only 18(almost 19) afterall....
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  7. 01-16-2012 05:28 PM #7
    Goodgirl93
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    Quote Originally Posted by oxy-moron View Post
    Also if you are pretty you can easily get away with some extra pounds.
    Well this would b me,Sammy.

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  8. 01-16-2012 06:48 PM #8
    jns
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goodgirl93 View Post
    Well this would b me,Sammy.

    Very cute!
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    Patrick Henry
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  9. 01-16-2012 07:13 PM #9
    MARRIED AND FRUSTRATED
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    Well Goodgirl93 I think JNS hit the nail on the head!!! I think if your boyfriend is pure and totally in love with you that will not matter!
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  10. 01-16-2012 07:14 PM #10
    BabyGirl
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    As JNS said very cute.

    I would have never guessed you were 18. You look a Sweet 16 . Which is a good thing as you get older .. lol
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